Thursday, April 23, 2009

Rider Prophet Salutes Bad Team Names: Fictitious Animals Round 2

As sad as it is, there were too many imaginary animals to fit into one Top 5 so here’s an encore presentation.

Top 5 Made-Up Animals - Encore

5. Odessa Jackalopes (Central Hockey League) –


For those of you who aren’t up on your imaginary animals (shame on you) a Jackalope is basically a rabbit with antlers. This team makes this list purely because it reminds me of America’s Funniest People with Dave Coulier.


4. Lincoln Saltdogs (Minor League Baseball) –


Next time you bite into a delicious Premium Plus salted cracker, take a second to remember the poor saltdog that was ground in smithereens to make it.


3. Grand Prairie AirHogs (Minor League Baseball) –






I’ll stop mocking this team… when pigs fly. (That may be the most relevant use I’ve ever gotten out of that expression). Anyone else immediately think of Pigs In Space when they saw this team?




2. Lakeland Flying Tigers (Minor League Baseball) –

It would take some pretty powerful drugs… or a big catapult… for me to ever witness a tiger in flight. (Note to self: look into acquiring catapult and tiger)


Winner: Charleston Lowgators (defunct NBA D-League) –

The lowgator is of course a distant cousin of the highcroc (which is rumoured to actually just be crocodiles on stilts). Maybe a lowgator is something like Cotton Hill and just had their shins blown off by tojos.


Dishonourable Mentions: Saint John Sea Dogs (QMJHL), Lehigh Valley IronPigs (Minor League Baseball)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

HOW ABOUT THEM BLUE JAYS. Nice prediction on them being out of the play-offs race in two weeks. I think you should check the standings right now. I will wait ................................... That is correct Prophet. They are sole possession of first place. SUCK ON THAT BITCH.

Rider Prophet said...

Admitedly the Jays have been playing pretty good lately and are indeed in first place. However given that there is roughly 637 games remaining in the season, I personally won't start getting exctied until at least game 598.

The good news for the Jays is that BJ Ryan is once again on the DL. At least he won't be able to blow save opportunities from the trainer's room.