Friday, March 6, 2009

Rider Prophet Salutes Bad Team Names: Fictitious Animals

Part 3 in my continuing salute to bad teams names…



Top 5 Made-Up Animals



5. Binghamton University; University of Cincinnati Bearcats (NCAA) – I rather not get into the physiological reasons why a bear and cat couldn’t mate. Furthermore no adult sites even list this as a possibility… at least not the ones I deny ever visiting.



4. University of Alaska Anchorage; Stony Brook University Seawolves (NCAA) – Though I’ve never been to Alaska (or Stony Brook for that matter), I highly doubt the existence of a species of wolf that is indigenous to the sea.



3. Charleston Swamp Foxes (defunct AF2) – As previously discussed in on this blog, this team name may be in reference to the father of guerilla warfare as opposed to a made up animal but still…



2. San Jose SaberCats (AFL) – If you were really dead set on a made-up cat as a mascot why not go with something that has an existing fan base and logo… the ThunderCats. Now that’s something we can relate to.



Winner: Webster University Gorloks (NCAA)





If you’ve never heard of a Gorlok (and I sincerely hope you haven’t) it is a made up creature that has the paws of a speeding cheetah, the horns of a fierce buffalo and the face of a dependable saint bernard. I actually almost had to edit this article to disqualify the Gorlok from competition. When I wrote this post earlier in the week I was led to believe that the Gorlok was a fictional creature, but then my roommate brought a female of the species home from JD's last night and my hours of extensive research were instantly worthless.

3 comments:

Ryan F said...

> I highly doubt the existence of a species of wolf that is indigenous to the sea.

They said the same thing about seahorses and sea lions!

Look! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seawolf_(fish)

Ryan F said...

Sorry, here it is linkified: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seawolf_(fish).

Oh, and I'm still researching the bearcat. I've found some... uh... interesting sites. Nothing conclusive, though.

--
Ryan

Rider Prophet said...

That's one ugly fish.

Anyway the Rider Prophet has never been one to let facts get in the way of a good post.