Friday, March 6, 2009

Rider Prophet Salutes Bad Team Names: Fictitious Animals

Part 3 in my continuing salute to bad teams names…

Top 5 Made-Up Animals

5. Binghamton University; University of Cincinnati Bearcats (NCAA) – I rather not get into the physiological reasons why a bear and cat couldn’t mate. Furthermore no adult sites even list this as a possibility… at least not the ones I deny ever visiting.

4. University of Alaska Anchorage; Stony Brook University Seawolves (NCAA) – Though I’ve never been to Alaska (or Stony Brook for that matter), I highly doubt the existence of a species of wolf that is indigenous to the sea.

3. Charleston Swamp Foxes (defunct AF2) – As previously discussed in on this blog, this team name may be in reference to the father of guerilla warfare as opposed to a made up animal but still…

2. San Jose SaberCats (AFL) – If you were really dead set on a made-up cat as a mascot why not go with something that has an existing fan base and logo… the ThunderCats. Now that’s something we can relate to.

Winner: Webster University Gorloks (NCAA)

If you’ve never heard of a Gorlok (and I sincerely hope you haven’t) it is a made up creature that has the paws of a speeding cheetah, the horns of a fierce buffalo and the face of a dependable saint bernard. I actually almost had to edit this article to disqualify the Gorlok from competition. When I wrote this post earlier in the week I was led to believe that the Gorlok was a fictional creature, but then my roommate brought a female of the species home from JD's last night and my hours of extensive research were instantly worthless.


Anonymous said...

> I highly doubt the existence of a species of wolf that is indigenous to the sea.

They said the same thing about seahorses and sea lions!


Anonymous said...

Sorry, here it is linkified:

Oh, and I'm still researching the bearcat. I've found some... uh... interesting sites. Nothing conclusive, though.


Rider Prophet said...

That's one ugly fish.

Anyway the Rider Prophet has never been one to let facts get in the way of a good post.