Thursday, March 12, 2009

Rider Prophet Salutes Bad Team Names: Grammatical Inaccuracies

Part 4 in my salute to bad team names from across the sporting world… Today we look at the effects of poor education system in the US.

Top 5 - Spelling Errors Are Fun

5. Cincinnati Jungle Kats (AF2) – When did we collectively decide that the letter K is cooler than the letter C? What did C ever do to be labeled uncool? I would have thought the unfortunate affiliation with the KKK would have sunk K for good but it appears to have emerged unharmed.

4. Utah Starzz (defunct WNBA Team) – Admittedly I am somewhat ashamed that I have knowledge of a WNBA team (let alone a defunct one), my life has indeed become quite pathetic.

3. Oklahoma City Yard Dawgz (AF2) – The Junkyard Dog made one hell of a career for himself and he didn’t have to resort to creative spelling of his name… so shame on you Oklahoma City.

2. West Tenn Diamond Jaxx (AA Baseball) – Even if they had spelled Jacks correctly, odds are I would still be making fun of this team. Jacks is a game that had been classified as lame long before I started school (not that that stopped me from setting a school yard record with tensies, booyeah!).

Winner: Georgia Gwizzlies (ABA) –

I wish I was making this one up. At first I thought this was just a typo but then I saw the logo… and proceeded to laugh hysterically. This is by far one of the worst team names I’ve come across so far. I’m not sure who in Georgia thought a team name that celebrates speech impediments would be a good idea. What better way to rally the fans together in support of your team than by making them sound like retards every time they say the team’s name.

In keeping with the “politically incorrect humour” I’m known for, I’m sure there’s a Special Olympics joke to be had here. However, I’ve opted not to go down that route since the intellectual capacity shown by the Gwizzlies is so miniscule that I don't want to shame the good folks at the Special Olympics through the comparison. Damn those kids try hard.

Dishonourable Mentions: Portland Lumberjax (NLL), Sam Houston State Bearkats (NCAA)


Anonymous said...

I would be interested in hearing the prophets top ten funniest sports moments. Something tells me you be able to find the most ridiculous moments in sports that people probably haven't seen.

Rider Prophet said...

That's actually a good idea. So good in fact that I will steal it and pass it off as my own. Maybe I'll get to it once I'm done with the bad team names.