This week’s edition of my salute to bad team names will hopefully debunk the myth that colours are inherently cool and their coolness can transfer to otherwise lame objects via osmosis.
Top 5 – Adding A Colour To A Bad Team Name Doesn’t Make It Any Better
5. University of Evansville Purple Aces (NCAA) – Aces come in red and black (and occasionally naked girl) but not purple. Regardless it’s a pretty bad mascot.
4. Saint Francis University Red Flash (NCAA) – To me a red flash seems more like a symptom of a serious medical condition than something I associate with sports. They should probably have that checked out.
3. University of North Texas Mean Green (NCAA) – My understanding is that the University of North Texas originally competed in the NCAA under one of the organization's staple names, the Eagles. That all changed when a standout defensive tackle came along in the late 1960's, "Mean" Joe Greene. Greene was so good that the school changed the name of not just the football team, but every varsity team on campus - while they would retain the Eagle as the mascot, the teams would forever more be known as Mean Green. Fortunately this method of team naming didn't catch on across the sporting world, or we could be eagerly anticipating games between the Edmonton Swamp Dogs and the Saskatchewan Undertakers... or worse, the Big Nates.
2. Cornell University Big Red/ Dartmouth College Big Green (NCAA) – I feel like Principal Skinner… “And the award for the children who obviously had no help from their parents...” Honestly, way to put zero effort into a team name. My only guess is that the schools are not artistically inclined and were looking for a logo that would be easy to draw. The odd thing though is that Cornell’s logo feature’s a brown bear. Mind boggling!
Winner: Presbyterian College Blue Hose (NCAA) –
Of all the potential mascots out there the Presbyterians went with the mighty hose. But not just any hose, a blue one. Straight from the garden shed to the athletic field. I’m not sure what exactly it was about the hose that made the Presbyterians go “Now that would make a great mascot”. I mean sure being beaten with a hose is no fun but on its own a hose is not very intimidating.
Dishonourable Mentions: Tulane University Green Wave (NCAA), Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets (NCAA), Columbus Blue Jackets (NHL)