Monday, April 27, 2009

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Canada’s Crotch

Well by now you’ve no doubt heard the comments Bomber head coach Mike Kelly made at Winnipeg’s annual fan forum. In case you missed them (because honestly keeping track of news in Winnipeg can’t be a huge priority for many), Kelly was quoted as saying "We kind of raided the toothless, green, watermelon-helmet-wearing people from the crotch of Canada."

Personally I’m more confused by the comments than offended. Obviously Kelly has a very different interpretation of the word “raided” than me because I don’t consider acquiring a brutal CB, a bunch of back-up lineman and an unproven receiver (that you had to give up your best O-linemen for) as “raided”. But that’s just me.

As for the “crotch” part of his comments, I do not take offense. Personally I’m quite proud of my crotch and in my experience…umm how shall I put this? … good things happen at the crotch. Also anatomically speaking, next to the crotch you generally find the anus… which I guess by Kelly’s figuring would be Manitoba (marking the first time I actually agree with him).

Maybe Kelly just mis-heard the guy who told him the capital of Saskatchewan is Regina.

Anywho, at least he didn’t call us Canada’s duodenum or ileocecal junction or common bile duct or something like that… because then I would have taken offense.

I hope these comments have the same effect as Troy Westwood’s infamous banjo comments because if that’s the case we are but 5 months away from the inaugural Crotch Bowl (you just might not want to drink out of the trophy).

Perhaps this next news item is a bit ill-timed after a story about crotches but anyway…

We finally have a plea entered in the Eric Tillman case. Last week a plea of not guilty was entered by Aaron Fox and a pre-trial conference was set for Jun 11. I love the efficiency of our justice system - 3 court appearances (totaling no more than 15 mins) over 3 months all for 2 words to be uttered and the case set aside for another 2 months. Can you imagine if lawyers were paid by the case as opposed to the hour?

Former Bomber GM Brendan Taman has publicly stated that he will not be waiting for the Riders anymore and will be pursuing other opportunities. Which may be the best news of the week. I am vehemently (good word) opposed to that man having any decision making power with respect to our roster.

The CFL Draft goes Saturday. If you’ve got nothing better to do (and let’s face it, if you’re reading this blog right now, you really don’t) join me for my Second Annual Live Draft Day Blogging. Follow along with the Prophet’s uncensored, unedited, largely incoherent commentary taking you from the 1st pick right up until I get distracted and start watching reruns of The Golden Girls. I sure will miss Bea Arthur.

CFL Ins and Outs (none of which I care enough to write anything about)

Calgary
In: Dwayne Carpenter (re-signed), OL Jon Gott (2008 draft pick signing)

BC
In: DB Mike McEachern, LB Marcus Richardson (free agent signing)
Out: Clarence Coleman (cut)

Hamilton
In: Travis Moore (hired as RB Coach/Offensive Assistant)
Out: WR Earnest Jackson, DE Adam Kania, DE Dominic Lewis (cut)

Winnipeg
In: QB James Kilian, DL Montez Murphy

Edmonton
In: Darnell Terrell, DB Emanuel White, RB Ciatrick Fason, RB Arkee Whitlock (free agent signing)
Out: DB J.R. Larose, DB Wale Dada, RB AJ Harris (cut)

2 comments:

Wilma said...

The Crotch Bowl? Would they be playing for a cup?

Rider Prophet said...

Even better. Move over Banjo Bowl... the Crotch Cup is taking over