For years the CFL was the laughingstock of the sporting world for having 2 teams named the Roughriders (to be fair the differences between a Roughrider and a Rough Rider are clearly vast but that’s a topic for another day). Well with this new segment I hope to show that comparatively speaking having 2 Roughriders isn’t all that bad. There are far more laughable things in the sporting world. Given the sheer volume of bad team names out there I will group them by themes.
This week I salute animal mascots…
Top 5 Least Intimidating Animal Mascots
5. Brevard County Manatees (Minor League Baseball) – Just to clarify, manatee (or sea cow) is not intimidating when referring to the animal but when referring to a female patron at a bar it’s very intimidating (at least until 2am when you’re blindingly intoxicated)
4. Eerie Otters (OHL) – Until PB&J Otter form a gang and start roughing people up on the street I will contend that otters are not intimidating.
3. University of California Irvine Anteaters (NCAA) – The only team even remotely intimidated by UC Irvine is the mighty Fort Wayne Mad Ants of the NBA’s D-League.
2. University of Delaware Fighting Blue Hens (NCAA) – Now I can understand how a rooster could be classified as intimidating (hell they are so vicious that cock fighting has been made illegal), but a hen? What are they going do to lay an egg and then sit on them for weeks on end?
Winner: Columbia College Fighting Koala (NAIA) – Quick zoology lesson: Koala’s spend 20 hours a day sleeping and do nothing but eat eucalyptus the rest of the time, they don’t really have the time to fit fighting into that strenuous schedule. Besides on the off chance I’m wrong about the aggressiveness of the koala, I’m pretty sure I could take this “intimidating” creature.
It would look something like 0:34 of this wonderful commercial
Dishonourable mentions: Texas Christian University Horned Frogs (NCAA), University of Oregon Ducks (NCAA) - The Ducks were actually penciled into the top 5 until Man in the Bush reminded me of that unfortunate time he was feeding bread to the ducks in the park and one of the ducks violated him and robbed him at gun point.