Thursday, June 27, 2013

Official Prophecies 2013

Twas just days before the season and the province was pumped up
Even more so than normal since we’re hosting the Cup
Expectations were high, only the best will do
Fortunately those standards don’t apply to me too
Where normally these rhymes just roll off my tongue
This year I’m struggling to even write one
But the show must go on for on me, you rely
So I’ll do it with the aid of my old friend rye
So bear with me as I prophecy on the White & Green
With my thoughts and predictions for 2013

Taman had loaded the roster, he’s gone all in
To hell with the cap, all we need is a win
In Foley, In Rey, in Weldon and Chick
In Simon, in Anderson… I still think he’s a dick
But for all the big names in our offseason haul
George Cortez will end up as the biggest of all
He will take our average O and make it scary
One of the top Os will be here on the prairie
Dressler and Sheets will be tops yet again
But Getz, Taj and Jock will join also the train
As for Simon he’ll be ok but here’s my guess
He’ll end up playing eleven games or less.
Bagg will play more and that I know is bold
And Darian will be back to the Durant of old
Through the air, on the ground he will score
Not just barely squeaking but points galore

On D we’ve completely changed front to back
Moved up Butler and moved back Brack
That experiment will be short lived, gone by midseason
They’ll be back in their old spots and with good reason.
The D will be aggressive and attack the O
FU Richie’s softness, this is the Chamblin show.
We’ll get lots more picks, but give up more yards
High risk, high reward is what’s in the cards.
Our aggressiveness will start down in the trenches
We’ll send a few QBs back to the benches
Chick will be a monster but won’t lead in sacks
Others will benefit from his relentless attacks
With Shologan and Foley our DL will be top rate
And George (once he’s served his game for headbutting Tate)
They will give up more but be fun to watch
Though at times they will make you want to shoot scotch

We will start with 2 quick wins and Riderville will have it made
Spots will be picked out for the inevitable parade
But the initial elation won’t last long
We will lose a few and things will start to go wrong
A high profile injury, struggles on both sides of the ball
Bench Durant! Fire Chamblin! Axe Hall!
These will be the cries of the midseason freakout
But patience will prevail and some wins we will sneak out.
At a game above 500 come Labour Day we’ll be stuck
Not sure who the Bomber QB will be but it won’t be Buck
Yet another sweep of Winnipeg will ensue
The bandwagon will fill up again as if right on cue
We’ll be strong down the stretch as things start to gel
Sadly part of this will be the return of Neufeld
Killed me to write that and you know what I’m meanin’
But he’s at least better than Heenan

At 11 and 7 we will land at second place
A home playoff game at Mosaic and the Stamps we will face
That loser Tate won’t be the starter any more
Either Glenn or Bo Levi hick-name will face the Mosaic roar
Game will be close and cause some heart attacks
We will win in the last few seconds thanks to some sacks
Then its off to BC just one win away
From a dream home Grey Cup the next Sunday
But because we are Riders and generally cursed
We will have yet more sadness that needs to be nursed
For the Lions will prevail in a real close game
We’ll leave it all on the field and have no shame
But a 4th cup for Rider Nation will just have wait
Until 2014 when we will truly be great

So there’s my predictions but fear not if you don’t like
For in 5 years I’ve yet to be 100% right
So you’ll hear me exclaim to you my friend
Let’s hope I’m wrong about the end

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