Monday, March 25, 2013

Monday Evening Sentimonies: Mo Money Mo Problems

As promised I will tackle the issue of what the CFL should do with its newfound windfall of cash but first I suppose I should comment on the big Rider news.

Proving yet again that CFL contracts might as well be written on a triscuit cracker, the Riders cut Joe Lobendahn despite just signing him to a contract extension a month ago. Rumour has it that Taman just texted Lobendahn “Hey remember that extension we just signed you too? …. Pshych!” The void at MLB was quickly filled though as the Riders welcomed back Rey Williams.

I am decidedly indifferent on this one. I liked what Lobendahn did for us last year but also think Williams has enough left in the tank for a few more good seasons. So at worst it’s a saw off in terms of talent and Williams apparently comes at a lower price than Lobendahn (I’m going to stop using his name because I’m tired of typing it) so it’s a positive move. I think Rey has more upside but brings more risk. Rey’s got good sideline to sideline speed, sometimes leads to over pursuit but overall he’s a quality player and a hitting machine. Besides even if you hate him (not sure why you would but it’s possible), it can’t possibly be worse than the Shomari experiment last year.

No onto the money…
The new TSN TV deal is going to dump so much money into a league that has been forced to be extremely frugal in the past that they won’t know what to do with it all. Fortunately being the helpful guy I am, I’ve come up with a number of recommendations on what the new money can be used for. Here’s my Top 10:

10. Pay Rider Prophet an honorarium for his suggestions
9. Blue dot around the football during TV broadcasts to help increase viewership in the States
8. Actually invest in walls that will withstand wind in Winnipeg
7. Alcohol discounts
6. A Friday Night Football song that isn’t a complete and utter rip off of Faith Hill’s NFL song
5. Grillz for everyone… Gold Teef!!
4. Hire a new play-by-play guy so we never have to listen to Rob Black again (or just clone Cuthbert)
3. Phase out Grey Cup rings for winners and replace them with championship belts
2. Game day sherpas to carry me to my seat
1. Create a league of mascot soccer that play throughout the year at halftimes around the country with the championship during Grey Cup week

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