Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Wednesday Morning Sentimonies: At Least I Was On TV

Stampeders 42 – Riders 5

Well… that was like watching an alligator have sex with a hippo. Yeah… it was that bad.

In front of thousands of Rider fans, including the Rider Prophet, and with 1st place and the season series with Calgary on the line… the Riders put in one of their worst performances of the season. They seemed to have the X-factor, or as I like to call it, the Michael Bishop Sucks factor.

Seriously, I challenge anyone of you out there to legitimately question my Michael Bishop hatred at this point. He’s terrible. 3 INTs (2 of which were in the endzone), 1 fumble, a failed 1 yard plunge… and to top it all off 0 points scored. Simply outstanding Mr. Bishop. Both endzone INTs were to the safety which Bishop consistently fails to account for. Marcus Crandell was released for production that didn’t even come close to this garbage so why are we forced to put up with it just because it’s Michael Bishop? Ken Miller seems to have an affinity for the partially retarded signal caller that is bordering on the Barrett/Nealon love fest (although at least Miller has been willing to pull Bishop) and if he doesn’t smarten up, Mr. Miller may find himself on my hatred list. You’re doing so many things well with this team Miller, don’t throw it all away for Michael Bishop. That’s like leaving your supermodel billionaire wife to elope with a one-legged inbred prostitute named Bertha.

Speaking of quarterbacks, Darian Durant made a late game appearance to try and mop up the mess made by Bishop. The man dubbed "the future" of the franchise by many then promptly slipped while trying to walk on water and was sacked. I wish Darian no ill will, I just thought that was funny given that he received a huge cheer from the crowd only seconds before.

As much as I’d like to, I can’t pin the entire loss on Bishop. The defense shares some guilt in this one as well (just not as much as Bishop). Admittedly, Calgary possesses one of the top offenses in the league and even the best defenses can’t expect to contain them completely so I’m not mad at the defense for letting the Stamps put up points. I’m mad at the defense for making the genius decision to leave the CFL’s top receiver wide open down field and for being completely unable to tackle someone along the sidelines (seriously, I was having flashbacks to the game in Calgary last August when we also seemed unable to tackle). Look I know our offense is giving you no support and Bishop’s repeated turnovers are keeping you on the field more than is reasonable but come on… you gotta do better than that boys.

The lone high point of the game was once again Weston “soon to be rookie of the year” Dressler. He amassed 133 yards including a ridiculous one handed grab. I’m not ashamed to admit that I have a man-crush on Dressler.

It’s now time for your weekly “Serious Rider Injury” report. You didn’t think we’d escape Calgary with only a Stampeder boot mark on our asses did you? Add 2 more receivers to our injury list (which is now large enough to legally be considered a village)… Corey Grant pulled an abdominal muscle and Gerran Walker sprained his clavicle (funny word, clavicle) and both are expected to miss a few games. Also, John Chick celebrated his 2nd return from the 9-game injured list by sustaining another injury, this time his shoulder. Fan-freaking-tastic! I was unaware that the Chicks were related to the Lumsdens but that appears to be the case given their respective durability.

If by some miracle we can find 42 healthy players come Sunday, the Riders will take on the lowly Ti-cats… though at this rate we may have to forfeit. The good news is talented players such as Flick, Fantuz, Dominguez, Cates, and McKenzie are only a week or 2 away from returning… the bad news is none of them play QB so it will do nothing to improve our offense.

We shot some quality interviews while pre-gaming in Calgary and I will have those posted sometime tonight.

5 comments:

Napoleon in Rags said...

To be fair, Bertha can do things with her one leg that will make you forget about that thing on her neck.

CK said...

I heard that Bertha once serviced an entire village of men. They could barely walk afterward. Of course, 8 of them had broken fibias before she got there...but still...

Rider Prophet said...

I didn't realize Bertha had such a strong following...

Steve said...

At least it's good to see that the Rider Prophet can still get some air time! Seriously, in regards to the game, I'm surprised they didn't cover you swearing at Bishop....

Rider Prophet said...

Believe me they had plenty of opportunity to catch that on camera... then again I'm pretty TSN has some censorship standards to adhere to. Why can't FOX cover the CFL? Then I'd be set.