Monday, July 18, 2011

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Now It’s Time To Panic

Evidently the Riders did not get the memo from the League that they weren’t commemorating any retro teams this season as they are currently doing their best to rekindle memories of the Riders of the 90s. 

Up until now I have been relatively calm and optimistic about our early struggles this season. I mean sure we tanked the first game but that was only one game surely we would improve from there and sure we got shown up by Montreal but they are the absolute best in the league, lots of teams more talented than this have fallen to them as well. Well that all came crashing down on Saturday. My optimism and hope dissipated with each embarrassing series. 

The stars couldn’t have aligned better for us. What better opportunity for a struggling team than to face a team who is struggling as bad as we are. Not only that but that team was also missing their top 2 receivers. It’s as if we were starving hunters out on a hunting trip and prize stag with both back legs broken came crawling up to us, loaded our gun for us and pointed it at its own heart... all we had to do was pull the trigger. But instead of killing the beast we somehow managed to miss the shot, have the bullet ricochet off a tree and bounce back and shot us in the ass, we then fell crotch first onto the animals antlers, as we were stumbling around from the pain, the commotion scared the animal so much that it pissed all over us before we ultimately fell face first in a pile of deer manure. We looked up in time to see the animal get in our truck and drive off to go sleep with our wife.

Sadly the embarrassment suffered by the hunter in this metaphor pales in comparison to that suffered by the Riders in Hamilton. If you excluded the nice FG from Eddie Johnson it would have been 60 minutes of pure crap. Seriously there is nothing positive you can say about that.

I was duped into getting my hopes up when the defense held Hamilton to all those FGS early. I thought we had endured the early barrage and we poised to mount our comeback... unfortunately the only mounting that took place was Hamilton mounting us and having their way with us. Offense was beyond embarrassing. They didn’t even have the functional capacity to complete a solitary pass until the first half was almost over. It’s sad when I (a man with a very strong bladder) complete more trips to the bathroom in a half than our team completes passes. But I mean what can you do?? All teams have to do is triple Dressler and our offense is rendered so impotent we would qualify for a prescription of Viagra. Getzlaf can’t catch, Nunn just looks confused out there, the retarded rabbit is far from a game breaker and Clermont is an afterthought. Its really sad, these are supposed to be professionals but the only thing they deserve to be paid for is acting in a remake of a Three Stooges movie, Durant included. 

To me bad individual performances can be blamed on the players. But, when an entire team plays like garbage for 3 straight games, clearly the blame should lie with the coaches. Clearly they did not have this team ready to compete.  Honestly I don’t know what they did for game prep but they would have been better off to just have the players watch Little Giants instead because whatever they are doing is having catastrophic results. Hell the team could have watched So You Think You Can Dance and been better prepared than that.

If we can’t even compete with a Bruce and Mann-less Ti-Cat team, how ugly is next week’s game against the league best Als going to be. We may just find out what happens with the scoreboard when a team scores over 100.


uncle_jim said...

... pretty much ....

Anonymous said...

I hear Darian Bishop…I mean Michael Durant…has his face on a new butter product. At this pace he's going to set a record for giveaways in the first half of the season.

Does Richie Hall have any clue about defence? Is Jim Daly back in the mix or something, this team has nothing…no talent…no size…no chemistry. I'll be surprised if you win a game this year. I feel a big shake-up coming.

There was a reason that Greg Marshall kept getting passed over as a HC, I think you guys are living that now.

Can't wait for the Banjo Bowl

Go Bombers

Rider Prophet said...

I completely agree about Marshall. Look at what happened to Richie Hall. Everyone (us included) repeatedly passed on the guy (obviously something wasn't right) then when someone is finally stupid enough to take a chance on him he bombs. Same thing is happening with Marshall only we are the ones stupid enough to take a chance on him.

Banjo Bowl could be interesting. A team with no QB vs. a Team with no coach.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr Prophet

Your comments about the Tiger Cats on July 14th seems to be off. I feel your correct about Marshall being a good coach but your way off on Bellefeuille. Since he took the reigns of Head coach he is 19 wins and 20 losss in the last three years in the regular season. He is 0 and 2 in playoffs. How was the cats doing before he arrive. Maybe if you live in a glass house do not throw stones.


Rider Prophet said...

First off, when did I say Marshall was a good coach?!? I think pretty much the exact opposite.

As for Bellefeuille, I'll admit that the Ti-Cats have improved under his watch but all he really did was take them from utter crap to mediocrity. A sub .500 record and winless in the playoffs is not good, plain and simple. He's like the white Danny Barrett, good enough of a coach to get a team back to respectability but not good enough to take them any further than that.

So to summarize, Bellefeuille not good, Marshall worse, and I will throw all the stones I want.

Anonymous said...

Now is the time to do some experiments on offence. Clermont to slot Gretzlaf to WR. Cates to share RB dutes with Brandon West.Use some reverses. Have Nunn take a pitch out and throw back to DD. Have the QB line up behind center on short yardage 2nd downs to allow for a plundge or a pass. Roll out DD and throw long to shake up the DB's.Try to be as unpredictable as possible.
Why not try these suggestions, the Riders are expected to lose anyways. At least it would be an entertaining loss!!!
Robert in Riderville

PS Thanks for changing the background from bright green to white. Much easier to read.