Monday, January 11, 2010

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Back To Football

After spending most of last week discussing legal proceedings, sexual assault and other serious matters that don’t lend themselves to the humour you’ve come to expect from this blog, I thought it would be refreshing to start the week with some actual football news and some actual humour (well at least feigned attempts at it). And if its humour we’re after there’s no better place to start than Toronto…

The Argos search for a head coach continues. Fortunately it seems they learned from their mistakes last time. Unlike last year when they pursued the likes of Jim Fassel, Tom Clement and attempted to resurrect Vince Lombardi… this year their candidates actually appear interested in the position. And unlike last year when the best thing that could be said about their leading candidate’s knowledge of the CFL is he’s “watched the game”… this year their candidate list includes people who not only have CFL coaching experience but also enjoyed success in their role. Now this would fly in the face of the longstanding Toronto tradition of making embarrassingly bad decisions when it comes to the operation of their sporting teams but fear not… there’s still plenty of time for them to screw things up before the season starts.

The Argos’ have narrowed their candidate list down to 4: Als OC - Scott Milanovich, Stamps DC - Chris Jones, Ti-Cat DC - Greg Marshall and the currently unemployed Doug Berry. Though all 4 would be good choices, I think the Argos would be wise to go with on offensive minded coach like Berry or Milanovich. Their D actually wasn’t that bad last year but their offense was abysmal. Having said that, look for the Argos to defy logic and go with either Jones or Marshall… or pass over these candidates altogether and hire Cito Gaston in an attempt to renew interest in the team.

The Bombers, not to be outdone in the biggest CFL gong show competition, are currently looking for a Head Coach, VP of Football Operations and President/CEO (seriously who is running this team!?!? The mascot? Steve from accounting?). Interest in these posts has been decidedly mixed. While some people (like former Commissioner Tom Wright) have (wisely) made it clear that they are not interested, some people (like Director of Officiating Tom Higgins) have said they are very interested. While I realize being the head of one of the most hated group of people in the league may not be a dream job, would being the head of the Bombers really be a step up?

The Lions have announced that they will play the 2010 season at a temporary stadium to be erected at the old Empire Stadium site while BC Place is having its roof replaced. Other than the fact that I just used the word “erected” I’m struggling to think of something funny to write about this.

CFL Ins and Outs


In: K Alexis Serna (contract extension)

Out: DB Jonathan Hefney (signed with Detroit Lions), WR Dudley Guice (signed with Indy Colts)

After spending a season on a team that was mired in a constant gong show/media circus and terrible on-field performance, Hefney will get to enjoy being on a team that focuses exclusively on the terrible on-field performance. As for Guice… he somehow managed a contract with one of the NFL’s elite offenses after catching only 6 passes and appearing in only 3 games this past season with the lowly Bombers… that’s nothing short of amazing.


In: LB Otis Floyd, DL Darrell Adams, QB Kevin Glenn, QB Quinton Porter (contract extension)

So I wonder if Hamilton has finally realized that Kevin Glenn gives them the best chance to win or if they plan to waste a few more games next season on the “Porter is due” theory.


In: RB Jeff Johnson, LB Jason Pottinger (contract extension)

Out: DL Walter Curry (signed with Jacksonville Jaguars)

I’m shocked that the Argos re-signed not 1 but 2 Canadians. Adam Rita must have mistakenly assumed they were Americans.


Out: FB Rolly Lumbala, WR Ryan Grice-Mullen (signed with Miami Dolphins)

Cam Wake must have made one hell of an impression on the Dolphins, for them to go out and sign 2 of his former team mates. I mean given Lumbala’s size I can see the interest in him but given that Grice-Mullen got turned inside out by our punter, I can’t see him lasting too long in the NFL.


Out: KR Larry Taylor (signed with New York Jets)

I hope Taylor puts his best skills on display because given his diminutive size, if he angers Coach Rex Ryan, I could see Ryan eating him as a mid-afternoon snack.

Also, Keron Williams had a workout with the Minnesota Vikings though no contract offer has been made yet. That’s just what the Vikings need another D-lineman named Williams. I wonder how long before they ask Jared Allen to change his last name.

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