Monday, July 20, 2015

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Choose Your Own Sentimonies

As you know I am currently on vacation. I typed this post before I left. It's in the style of the old Choose Your Own Adventure Books. I'll be back with actual live posts on Friday.

What a game! (If the Riders won proceed to bullet A. If the Riders lost proceed to bullet B)

A - What a great feeling to finally get that first win as I predicted we would. (If the Riders won convincingly proceed to bullet 1. If the Riders won by the the narrowest of margins proceed to bullet 2. If the Riders won by some miracle of god that was so lucky it would never happen again in a million years and you are almost ashamed we won that way, proceed to bullet 3.)

    1 - No doubt the home crowd played a factor. After being so close in the previous weeks you just new they were due for a breakout game. Hopefully they can carry that momentum into next week.

   2 - Who cares how we won. At 0-3 we can't afford to be picky.

   3 - Who cares how we won. At 0-3 we can't afford to be picky.

B - Yet another disappointing outcome. (If the Riders got pounded proceed to bullet 1. If the Riders found yet another epic way to choke away a sure victory proceed to bullet 2. If you are so angry you want to punch a small animal proceed  )

    1 - Our defense is useless, I've seen velvet ropes that are better at stopping people. I suggest drinking heavily as a means of coping with our downward spiral. Bet against us in proline and use the winnings to fund your drinking.

    2 - Even people big time into S & M don't like chocking as much as the Riders do. I suggest drinking heavily as a means of coping.

   3 - Please don't punch a small animal. Instead go after something more your size, like an ostrich (dibs on the eggs and meat if you do). I suggest drinking heavily as a means of coping. Please avoid alcohol such as rye than will only heighten your rage. Stick to beers, wines... or absinthe if you really want to escape life for a bit.


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your an idiot

Rider Prophet said...

The quality of my writing and humour has remained unchanged for many years. By this point if you are still reading this even though you hate it then perhaps you are the idiot.

PS - Generally when insulting someone's intelligence you should try and not make grammatical errors.