Friday, June 27, 2014

Official 2014 Predictions

Twas 7 months since the Grey Cup and there was much debate
“Where is Prophet with his predictions? It’s getting quite late
Does he not know that the season is starting?
Shouldn’t he be here making jokes about farting?”
Last year was surreal but the fans want to know what’s in store.
Should they be happy with one Cup? Could they hope for more?
Well fear not faithful readers, for I am here
To prophecy on what will occur this year.

It’s back to reality, the Grey Cup hangover has ceased
There have been departures, we are no longer the beasts
Gone Sholo, gone Butler. Sheets and Dressler too
But it’s not all bad news, Sisco’s gone too.
We’ve got holes to fill, our roster is less stacked
But that’s no reason why you shouldn’t be jacked.
Our core is still solid, some second to none.
We’ve got all the tools to make another run.

With Cortez making calls, Durant will continue to be a star
Under DD’s leadership the offense will go far
We’ve got less big names but that’s no reason to fret
We will still have a top 3 offense I bet.
Taj will set new career highs as the go to guy
Getz will get another 1000 but at times make you need rye
The other receivers will share the ball
They’ll all get their touches but Swain will the best of the all
Toston will provide a credible run attack
At least until September when Sheets will be back.

Defense will need to be our strength and win us some games
As the offense goes through early growing pains
I would put our secondary up against any one
They’ll have the most INTs when it’s all said and done.
We will show early weakness up front and get burned by the run
Richie Hall will be cursed heavily by some.
But someone not on our roster will step in at DT
And Kilgore will be solid upon return from injury.
The battle for top defensive player will be
Between Weldon Brown and Ricky Foley

On teams our coverage will start shaky but improve
Woldu and McHenry will lead them back into a groove
Milo will be rock solid and as for Bartel
His kicks will be so good that “Crikey” will we yell (for that line to be even remotely humorous you need to say Crikey in your best Crocodile Hunter voice)
As for predictions on teams, I’ll give you one more
Marshay Green will take a kick to the house by game 4.

We will start slow and people will doubt
They’ll be happy with last year and count us out.
At 3 and 4 most will admit defeat
And give up on the dream of a repeat
But the players and coaches will not give up
They will not be satisfied with just one cup
The roster will be tweaked and our record will start mending
And from the down in the standings we will start ascending.
Though we will be counted out early we will finish 2nd. Great!
A home playoff game at 10 and 8.
In what will seem like déjà vu, the Lions we will slay
In the West Semi on a cold November day.
Then it’s back to Calgary, a familiar scene
Some speckles of red amidst and sea of green
It won’t be as dominating as last year but we will again prevail
With Durant leading by action, we will not fail
Then it’s off to BC Place with a dynasty on our mind.
It will be the Argos as opponents we will find.
The game will be close but we will fall short in the end
Our championship status we will not defend.

So that’s how I see 2014 going, cue the ovation
An up and down season that exceeds expectation
But don’t worry that I’ve picked a sad end, that’s alright
For in 7 years of predictions I’ve never got the end right
So in predicting that we won’t win the Cup
The odds of us doing so has actually gone up.

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