Monday, August 23, 2010

Monday Morning Sentimonies: More Merchandising!

Normally my Monday post would talk about the CFL games this past weekend. But the Riders were on a bye week so there’s nothing to talk about for them. As for the 2 games that did occur, they weren’t really much to talk about. In case you missed them here’s a quick summary:

Calvillo got so hurt that they needed to wrap him in a medical blankie and wheel him to the hospital. Chris Leak came in an embarrassed himself by overusing the Gator Chomp celebration. Fortunately, the Bombers’ receivers managed to embarrass themselves far worse by forgetting that they were playing football and instead using some sort of weird volleyball-like technique when the ball came their way and Montreal cruised to an easy victory. The Argo/Ti-Cat game was a sorry excuse for a football game and was “highlighted” by the Argos offesne which was based entirely on the check down to Andre Durie; Barker not knowing the rules; and Lin-J Shell spiting on someone. All around not a banner week for the CFL. The only other notable thing was that in an effort to shore up their atrocious O-line the BC Lions have signed recently cut OL Joe McGrath. Then again this could just be a ploy by Wally to get a first round pick out of the Eskimos by trading McGrath back to Edmonton.

Anywho, since the on-field action wasn’t all that great I thought I’d take this opportunity to address an important off-field topic… merchandising. More specifically the ridiculous state of Rider merchandising.

Ever since the Grey Cup win in ’07, the Riders have been shattering records for merchandise sales. Rider gear is flying off the shelf as fast as they can stock it. At first it was the standard jerseys, hats and t-shirts but as demand for Rider gear increased so to did the diversity of the Rider product line. While I’m all for the proliferation of Rider gear across the country and the massive revenues it means for the team, I think things may be getting a bit crazy.

Hats and shirts are one thing but now there a Rider bathroom sets, hammers, breakfast cereal, things to cook Rider logos onto your freaking burgers and hotdogs, windshield washer fluid, lotions/shower gels. It’s gotten to the point where the marketing department is pretty much sticking a Rider logo on whatever pops into their head… but it’s working like a charm because people keep buying it. I am convinced that if Health Canada wants immunization rates to increase, all they would have to do is stick a Rider logo on their syringes and offer Rider Immunizations. I guarantee it would lead to unprecedented demand.

A quick walk through the Rider store will probably have you convinced that they’ve now got pretty much every Rider product imaginable available but that’s where you are wrong my friend.

In a Rider Prophet exclusive, here’s a look and upcoming Rider products that will soon be hitting store shelves.

Rider Brand Multivitamins

Rider Ravioli Crimper

Rider Pitchfork
Whether you are cleaning out the barns or joining an impromptu lynch mob. The Rider Pitchfork is a must for any Saskatchewan resident.

Roughrider Peanut Butter

Available in Smooth or… Chunky Adams

Gary Etcheverry Edition ImodiumImagine the commercial. “To stop runs of the field I use blitzes. To stop the runs off the field I use Imodium.”

Rider Home Pregnancy Test

Rider Yarmulke

For all the devout Hebrew Rider Fans out there.

Rider Communion Waffer

Because this blog can never contain too much blasphemy.

Rider Lettuce

What? … It’s green

Lady Rider Moustache Remover

What Rider items would you like to see?


CK said...

I have to admit, that I wasn't really surprised when I was home a few weeks ago and saw the Rider Windshield-washer fluid at the Co-op. Then I saw their grocery bags with the logo too.

As for new products, how about a Scott Schulz line of La-Z-Boy Recliners?

Wilma said...

HAHAHAHA! The Chunky Adams Peanut Butter really tickled my funny bone.

As much as I lurve my Riders, the merchandising is getting dangerously close to Krusty the Klown territory.

Wilma said...

Who couldn't use a Chris Szarka table saw safety guard?

Johan said...

Roughrider's Burris Repellent...for those cold playoff games

Roughrider Toothpaste...Smiling Hank's "(un)dirty" little secret.

Anonymous said...

Specking of a Schultz chair I saw a very large Rider air chair the other day. A question Prophet- What do the riders get out of the merchandise sold outside the rider store, Co-op,Can. Tire, etc.

Rider Prophet said...

The Riders get a very small portion of revenue from sales in other stores (Cdn Tire, Jersey City etc...). The licensing revenue from merchandise sold through other suppliers goes to the League first - all teams share in those profits.

Anonymous said...

Very enlightening and beneficial to someone whose been out of the circuit for a long time.

- Kris