Friday, November 21, 2008

Bet The House On Montreal

*Warning: Rider Prophet is not an expert in the field of sports gambling and following his advice may lead to bankruptcy, homelessness and performing sexual favours for drug money.

While I was fairly certain heading into Sunday that the Montreal Alouettes would emerge as Grey Cup champions, last night sealed it for me. What, might you ask, could have possibly occurred to make me so sure of an Alouette victory? Simple… Anthony Calvillo won the Most Outstanding Player award last night. While I see this (highly deserved) honour as having little to no effect on Calvillo or the Alouettes, I do see this having a big effect on Henry Burris.

We all know that Burris’ ego is massive. I’m not sure why it’s so big since he has really done very little to brag about, but regardless he has a massive ego. Last year he almost broke the single season interception record and was then surprised when he wasn’t the West nominee for MOP. Following the MOP snub, Burris went out and choked something terrible in the West Semi. This year he managed to get the nod as West MOP (which he did actually deserve) and is now pissed that Anthony Calvillo was named League MOP despite the fact the Calvillo was better than Burris is every QB category and almost matched some Doug Flutie records (the only thing Burris has in common with Flutie is that they they’ve each played for the Bears and Stamps). Burris, ever the classy guy, had this to say following his defeat: “Let's get this over with and get to the game if we're going to get robbed all the time. We're the best team in the league right now, record-wise, and nobody came away with anything.” Now there’s sportsmanship if I’ve ever seen it.

So now Burris has a chip on his shoulder and will be looking to prove that he should have been MOP come Sunday. He’s going to force things and try and be a hero by winning the game by himself, which never ends well for Hank. Expect a heavy dose of turnovers, bad decisions, and very little Joffrey Reynolds. The game features the top 2 offenses in the league and essentially boils down to Burris vs. Calvillo and if I had to choose who will respond to the pressure the best, without a doubt it’s Calvillo (and yes I realize that this completely ignores the fact that Calvillo has lost his last 3 Grey Cup appearances… so what?). So sit back and enjoy as Burris serves up his 4th annual playoff choke.

Les Alouettes de Montréal will win la Coupe Grey and then indulge in a celebratory meal of poutine and maple syrup and sing Frère Jacques until the sun comes up.

Getting back to the CFL Awards…

Two Riders were honoured last night. Jeremy O’Day was presented with the Tom Pate award for community service and, in what was about as big a surprise as Clay Aiken coming out of the closet (not that there’s anything wrong with that), Weston Dressler was named the League’s Most Outstanding Rookie. Congratulations to both players as they are very deserving in their respective areas.

Other winners last night included:
  • Canadian: Kamau Peterson – when the hell did this guy get so good?! Whatever happened to Incompleterson?
  • Lineman: Scott Flory – I’m pretty sure it’s written somewhere in the rules that you can’t be runner up 4 times for the same award. I believe it’s called the “Always a bridesmaid, never a bride” clause.
  • Special Teams: Dominique Dorsey - Many thought that Dorsey’s late season injury might hamper his shot at this award but given there’s nothing outstanding about kicking in general, Dorsey was a shoe in.
  • Defense: Cam Wake – Wake had this award sewn up by the 2nd preseason game so the only surprising thing is that he wasn’t a unanimous selection thanks to 2 voters from Manitoba… to be fair though, after watching the Blue Bombers for the last decade it’s hard to blame a Manitoban for not knowing what actual talent looks like.

Speaking of awards, the 2nd Annual Rider Prophet awards are coming up soon so please vote above for your “Fans Choice Douche Bag of the Year”


Luke said...

I think doing sexual favours for drug money, instead of money for paying back your bookie, would only make matters worse!

What a downward spiral.

Anonymous said...

It's a vicious cycle that's for sure.

I guess one way to fix it would be to find a bookie who accepts sexual favours as payment but that gets into a whole other host of issues.

Anonymous said...

Brandon Browner would really be my choice for Douche Bag of the Year. Horse-collar tackles, facemasks left and right, verbally abusing officials etc.

That being said, since Browner isn't on the list, Rob Murphy gets the nod (or the head shake of disapproval in this case.)

Luke said...

HA - try to find a bookie that doesn't accept sexual favours as payment.

Perhaps I've said too much...

Anonymous said...

Browner was given consideration but he falls more in the "Insanely Overrated Category". Berating the ref though was pretty douche baggish

CK said...

I placed my vote for the "Douch Bag" of the year. Let me know when the "Douche Bag" poll goes up too.

Anonymous said...

Wow it took me a long time to figure out what you were talking about... turns out I just can't spell.

Worst part is it won't let me edit the poll.

Anonymous said...

So how much did you lose, Mr. Prophet?


Enjoy your off season!

Anonymous said...

I'm smart enough not to take gambling advice from a guy in a beard and hobo cloak (even if that guy is me), so I lost nothing.

As for the Stamps, good for them, they were the better team... but I still hate them.

And I will enjoy the offseason, with Tillman in charge you know it will be entertaining.