Monday Morning Sentimonies: Him? Seriously?

In my last post I promised a return to football related sentimonies today. I almost had to reneg on that promise since there wasn’t much Riders news to talk about. Then as I was preparing to draft some poor attempt at a filler post, I heard the news that the Riders had brought in a new player that they expect to start on Labour Day. For those of you who haven’t yet heard who it is I’ll give you some hints.

- He is a former all-star receiver
- He played for the Riders for a year and a half
- He would have been part of the Grey Cup run in 2007 if he didn’t ask to be the focal point of our offense and subsequently get traded away
- He has been cut by 3 teams over the past 2 years
- The last time we heard of him he was waving his gun at his girlfriend as she sped away in her car

That’s right, today the Riders are welcoming back Jason Armstead.

After mulling things over during the bye week it seems as though the powers that be have decided that the answer to our non-existent return game is to bring back Armstead. While I have to give credit to Tillman for attempting to something about our return game, I’m pretty skeptical about how effective this will be. Armstead was the last Rider to return a kick for a TD but to be fair Jerald Baylis was the last Rider to be named Defensive Player of the Year but I doubt he’d give much of a boost to our defense today. Furthermore, the last time I saw Armstead play at Mosaic he was costing games the Als and Bombers games by either kneeling when he should have run, running when he should have knelt or fumbling when he should have not been on the field in the first place. So forgive me if I seem a bit skeptical about the move.

It seems Tillman and Miller are getting into the spirit of the league retro weeks. A few weeks ago we brought in the ’89 team as special guests. This week we are bringing in members of the ’06 team… as players. In addition to Armstead, our injuries at tackle have led to the return of Antonio Hall and injuries at LB are paving the way for the return of Reggie Hunt. I guess since Tillman is not allowed out of his house he has resorted to using a Delorean or possibly a phone booth (ala Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure) to conduct his scouting duties.

Maritime Thoughts From The Rider Prophet

The combination of me being on vacation and the Riders being on the bye week has led to me having absolutely nothing football related to talk about… well aside from the once mighty Calgary Stampeders almost embarrassing themselves by losing to an Argo offense that consisted entirely of the check down to Jamal Robertson last night.

Anywho, since I have nothing to say about football and today is the last day of my quasi-deserved vacation, I figured I would relay to you some random thoughts/observations from my trip to PEI…

- The economy in PEI seems to be based entirely on potatoes and Anne of Green Gables. In a surprising coincidence, the economy is not doing so well.

- Though there are many tours that allow you to see seals, none of them allow you to actually club one (what a gyp!).

- There are no restaurants on the island … only eateries. In fact, everything ends in “ery”. Eatery, winery, creamery, fishery, shopery, prostitutery, drug dealey, etc…

- Peeing in the ocean is as satisfying as it sounds.

- Orca whale steaks are incredibly hard to find. I was very disappointed.

- Mermaid tears = false advertising

- I was not brave enough to try “potted meat” so it will forever remain a mystery.

- My apologies to the members the Rider Prophet staff who were informally promised presents… I inadvertently spent all my money at the aforementioned prostitutery so there will be no gifts.

- Lastly and most important, congratulations to my cousin Kyle who won a silver medal in the 1500m wheelchair race in the Canada Games. I was proud to be on hand to see it first hand

I’ll be back Monday with some football related sentimonies.

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Celine Dion!

Riders 25 – Als 34

Today’s edition of Monday Morning Sentimonies comes to you live from the shores of PEI. The Prophet is currently enjoying some quasi-deserved vacation time. In a great display of timing, my first trip to the Maritimes has allowed me and Hurricane Bill hanging out quite a bit. Good times.

Right now you’re probably wondering why I’m still blogging while on vacation. Surely I could have left one of my other staff in charge of things. Well as much as I would like to say that it’s because I’m so dedicated to you my faithful readers… that would be a lie (nothing personal). The truth is I’m doing this because I have the most useless group of employees next to senate. PR Guy is less comprehensible than most newly landed immigrants, Man in the Bush hasn’t been heard from in days and may be currently serving 5-10 for a variety of offenses I’m happier not knowing about and Media Consultant… well I just plain don’t trust him. I guess you get what you pay for.

Anywho, I suppose I should make an attempt to comment on the game…

I was actually surprised at how well we played on Friday. I figured it would be a close game but the fact is we outplayed the Als in many aspects of the game but yet again fell victim to the same problems that have plagued our team all season… goal line offense, turnovers, special teams and 3rd quarter futility.

If you would have told me that we would have held Anthony Calvillo under 200 yards passing and sacked him 4 times I would have laughed at you. But amazingly that’s what our defense went out and did. Fell credit to them for an outstanding performance against the premier offensive unit in the league. Other than some piss poor tackling on the one TD I was very happy with how our defense performed.

Offensively, apparently Paul LaPolice took the advice that Dressler should be used more a bit too literally. He was pretty much our entire offense… even that 2 point convert was intended for Dressler, Getzlaf just jumped in front of him. It really didn’t surprise me that we couldn’t establish a run game against a Montreal run D that is stiffer than (insert sexually inappropriate comparison here; I’m too lazy to think of one on my own). Normally, the lack of a running game grinds our O to a halt. This time however, we simply started pushing the ball downfield instead… and with great success. Durant looked real good on his long passes (at least until Mathieu Proulx figured out our game plan and picked him off). In most cases, a strong defensive performance and a passing game that successfully stretches the field should be enough to win. But we’re the Riders and never do anything the conventional way.

While I have to give LaPolice credit for the passing game he called, I’m still left to wonder if his parents are related, or he was dropped on his head as a child… because man does he make some retarded decisions. One such example was when we got stuffed in the redzone early in the game. For reasons, I can only hope were alcohol related, LaPo decided to run our smallest RB up the middle twice in a row… and in a shocking turn of events we were stuffed both times. Most people would have used a bigger back such as Cates or Szarka to run up the middle, or at least ran to the outside to use Charles’ speed to our advantage, but not LaPo (maybe he just wanted to see a back flip really bad). Of course it doesn’t help matters when Durant throws brutally bad picks to the Als’ LBs.

Then we come to our special teams who have to be labeled as the worst unit in the league at this point. In all fairness to Kavis Reed we are currently missing our top 3 special teams players in Hughes, Williams and Stewart and they are being replaced with rookies… mostly DBs, which is a reason our blocking is so atrocious. That said it’s not like our issues on special teams are anything new, so maybe we should get around to addressing them. The only thing getting worse returns at this point is my pension fund.

If you look objectively at the game, if you take away the Als’ goal line stance and the punt return TD we could have easily beaten the best team in the CFL, which is extremely impressive. That said the reason that the Als are 7-1 and we are 4-4 is because they aren’t making the same mistakes that we routinely do (INTs, special teams screw ups and 3rd quarter holidays). Hopefully the bye week will allow the team a chance to heal up and the coaches a chance to start addressing our chronic problems because we are so close to being a premier team in this league but if we better start improving soon because Labour Day is coming up and we don’t want to get embarrassed like BC.

On that note, how bad do you have to be to give up 393 rushing yards in a single game?! I get mad when the Riders give up 100. Everyone in the country knew that Fred Reid was getting the ball on every play but somehow BC looked shocked and unable to do anything each and every time he got the ball. BC is in major trouble. For all the criticism that Mike Kelly has taken this year, I have to give him credit for one thing: he is the only coach to design an offensive attack that Michael Bishop couldn’t screw up… hand the ball off on every play.

Now if you’ll excuse me, me I gotta to get back to hanging with Hurricane Bill. I still have lots to do here this week including punching Anne of Green Gables, peeing in the ocean and starting up a lobster fighting ring. Catch you when I get back.

Riders vs. Alouettes: Part Deux

Given that this weeks’ game takes place in “La Belle Province” I will randomly insert meaningless French words here and there in order to comply with official languages legislation.

Friday the Riders travel to Montreal to play the 1^st place Als. The last time these 2 teams played, the Als came away with an embarrassingly lopsided victory. Zut Alors!

Trying to find weaknesses in the Alouettes is like trying to find a polite, non-smoking French person with good hygiene… although I’m sure one must exist somewhere, good luck trying to find it. Anthony Calvillo is so good it’s almost robotic. He is completing an amazing 74.5% of his passes. He is blessed with one of the league’s top RBs and 2 of the top 3 receivers in terms of yards so far this year in Watkins and Cahoon (oh yeah and their 3^rd option just happens to be Jamel Richardson). To be fair though the offensive force known as Keith Shologan has more TDs this season than the diminutive mormon. On a side note, due to the injury of Kye Stewart, Aaron Wagner will be moving back to LB so there’s a chance we may finally get to see who the toughest mormon in the CFL is (Go Wagner!). On top of all of that his O-line is offering a level of protection that would make Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley and Kennedy very envious. They have allowed a league low 6 sacks this season. The Alouettes are among the league leaders in virtually every offensive category. Syrop d’Érable!

Defensively, well, as Fred Reid learned the hard way, the Als are more than just “okay”. They have the stingiest defense in the league, allowing an average of 15 points per game and a microscopic 63 rushing yards per game. They lead the league in sacks and are tied with the Riders for the league lead in takeaways. The only aspect of the D that comes close to being labeled as just okay is the secondary. Pamplemousse!

The Riders counter with an offense that next to impossible to figure out. They are among the league leaders in points scored but among the league’s worst in yards gained. One game our run game looks unstoppable, the next they look useless. Mon Dieu! Durant looks like a poised, veteran starter some drives and a Frankenstein QB that was made of Michael Bishop’s brain and Marcus Crandell’s arm strength on others. Bibliothèques!

Defensively, we are about as puzzling. We are among the league leaders in total yards and passing yards allowed but dead last in terms of points given up. Celine Dion! It was reassuring to see Etch make some adjustments last week that actually resulted in consistently stopping the run. And with John Chick back in the mix, consistent pressure seems to be a realizable goal. Rock Voisine! We are the best in the league at creating turnovers and that will need to continue if we hope to steal a win in Montreal.

The key to the game will be pressure. We need to get to Calvillo and disrupt him or he will eat us up like a plate of poutine. Stunts, HB blitzes, whatever, just make sure you hit him and get in his face. We also need to limit the ferocious Alouette pass rush or Durant won’t be completing much of anything. That means the O-line has to step up and Cates will need to run hard. Coq au Vin!

Most aren’t giving us a chance in this game but I think it will be a close game (provided we decide to do something in the 3^rd). Our secondary is good enough to limit the passing attack, our receivers are good enough to exploit the Als secondary, so it comes down to the battle in the trenches, where the Als have the edge. There has also been much talk of the humidity the team will encounter in Montreal and as we all know it's not possible to overstate the crippling effects of water vapour in the air on a hot day. It's no laughing matter, to be sure. We will fight hard but fall just short. Bonhomme Carnaval!

Als by 7 (This should actually be a good omen, the only other time this year I picked the Riders to lose they ended up winning) Crêpe Suzette!

Around the CFL…

- Apparently the Riders have been in contact with Reggie Hunt about the possibility of bringing him in if it appears Kye Stewart’s knee will be a long term injury. And given the amount of injuries we’ve sustained at LB they are also fitting him for a knee brace and booking surgery time just in case.

- Word is the Riders have made a multi-year contract extension offer to Andy Fantuz. Given the success that my beer offer had in the negotiations with Jason Clermont, I would like to extend a similar offer to Andy… sign with the Riders and I will buy you beer after every game.

- Buck Pierce has suffered his 2^nd concussion in 5 weeks and 4^th head injury in 9 months. And all this is on top of the rib, foot and shoulder injuries that perennially plague Pierce. I don’t know what’s stupider, the fact that Pierce still wants to keep playing or the fact that Wally Buono still wants to play him? Why is Wally always so fond of the uber-fragile QBs?

- Mike Kelly forced Stephan LeFors to accept pay cut from $150K to $90K. While many people are feeling empathetic towards LeFors, I actually envy the guy. I mean how awesome would it be to suck so much that the boss replaces you yet still pays you $90K to sit on the sidelines and watch your replacement embarrass himself?

Monday Morning Sentimonies: 75% Happy

Riders 33 – Ti-Cats 23

As I sit down to write this I have to admit that I’m very conflicted. I mean the Riders won at home based on 3 fantastic quarters of football… but that other quarter was so abysmal that it almost overshadows the win.

While I have been highly critical of our coaching staff this season, I have to give them credit for their game planning. We always start very strong. Last night the coaches looked like they were finally starting to earn their pay. Offensively, Paul LaPolice actually got creative in his play calling. He finally decided that Jason Clermont was worthy of some touches and even went so far as to call a goal line pass to the defensive tackle… no one saw that coming (Shologan’s smile was wider than Darrell Hackney’s waistline following his big TD). Etcheverry learned how to stop the run and effectively take Cobb out of the picture all game and the returning John Chick helped the D-line turn in a dominant performance in the trenches. The defense as a whole did not allow a single 1^st down in the first half and kept Hamilton to negative net yards. For the record, I guess it should come as no surprise that a Bellefeuille-run offense was that futile. Combined with a strong offensive output, the Riders were up 23 at the half.

Now to the casual fan that kind of lead and defensive performance going into the half would be cause for great rejoicing. But anyone who’s followed the team closely this year was probably more worried than confident. The Riders are bar none the worst second half team in the league and they gave the hometown fans a firsthand demonstration of that. I’m not sure what it is exactly that the coaches do in the locker room at half time… read romance novels, take naps, play Parcheesi, hookers and blow, their taxes… all I know is that it obviously has nothing to do with football. If you include last night’s 3^rd quarter implosion the Riders have now only scored once in the 3^rd quarter this season (that’s equals out to an average of 1 point per 3^rd quarter). That is clearly a coaching issue. I mean once you can forgive but putting up 0 points in 6 out of 7 3^rd quarters?! Even Mike Kelly’s sorry excuse for an offense has done better than that.

Fortunately the team came to their senses in the 4^th and came away with the win and a share of first place. Outside of that 3^rd quarter there are many positives to build on. Durant played well despite the wind and controlled the ball, we actually established a ground game with Cates, we are spreading the ball around really well making it hard for defenses to key on one player, the entire D-line looked really good and got consistent pressure, Jyles managed not to screw up on 2 separate occasions on the goal line (alleluia!), and McCullough and Freeman did a decent job in place of the injured Rey Williams.

Other random observations:

• What’s the deal with Gainer’s new gay cousin?
• According to Man In The Bush, Mo Lloyd and Kitwana Jones attended the game.
• I guess it’s a good thing that Etch’s defense involves converted DB’s playing LB because with Kye Stewart going down we are quickly running out of actual LBs. At this rate he's going to have to start converting kickers by mid-September.
• I was amazed at how well Durant was able to run on the wet turf while missing one shoe.
• How bad was that missed no yards call? I wasn’t aware it was legal for defenders to gently spoon with the kick returner prior to him catching the ball.
• How funny was that guy who casually walked out onto the field to talk to the refs after that call though? I think all he wanted was clarification from the refs on why there was penalty on the previous play. We were all thinking it, he was just brave enough to actually do it.
• I never thought I’d say this but the futility that our special teams has shown under the direction of Kavis Reed has made me long for the days when Alex Smith was in charge (for the record that is not a compliment to Smith but rather a harsh insult to Reed).

While the game may have been way closer than it should have, it was a win nonetheless and a good showing overall.

Riders vs. Hamilton: How Did It Come To This?

I never thought I’d see the day where we came into a game against Hamilton with a worse record than the Ti-cats. For years now, the two Hamilton games that appeared on our schedule each year were widely considered gimme wins. We even started Rocky Butler a couple times to give them a fighting chance but we still won.

This year is a completely different story. We’re only a 1/3 of the way through the season and Hamilton has already won more games than in each of their last 2 seasons and currently are only a game behind Montreal for best in the league. And their success is coming from the most unlikely of sources. They have developed the 2^nd best rushing attack in the league with their 4^th string RB, but even more concerning, they’ve developed into a legitimate team under the direction of Marcel Bellefeuille. Never thought I’d have to use the term legitimate team in the same sentence as Marcel Bellefeuille… unless I was saying that Marcel Bellefeuille was fired thus making this a legitimate team again.

Hamilton’s long overdue resurgence is due to three very good offseason moves. They strengthened their O-line by bringing in Goodspeed and Gauthier, they dramatically improved their defense by bringing in Greg Marshall to run the show, and they made 2 key early season acquisitions in Jamall Johnson (who solidified their LBs) and Arland Bruce (who has turned a mediocre receiving group into a dangerous group overnight).

Offensively the Ti-cats are, and always have been, a run based team. Cobb has come from relative obscurity to become a feared RB in the league. Their passing game has been mediocre (I know, shocking that Bellefeuille’s team is good at running and bad at passing) but like I said with Bruce in the mix now I expect that area to improve. The most surprising thing about the Ti-cats this year is that they have committed the least turnovers in the league including just one solitary fumble. (I’m convinced there’s a holding on to balls joke here but can’t think of one). The Riders counter with a league high 24 takeaways but manage to completely offset that with 24 giveaways.

Defensively they are the definition of a bend but don’t break defense. They have given up more yards than any defense, yet are 2^nd in the league in points allowed. Their D is at their best in the 2^nd half where they have allowed only 13 points in the past 4 games (none of which came in the 4^th quarter). The way to beat them is defiantly through the air where they have allowed more yards than anyone. They are kinda like a celibate girl… you can make a pass on them but it probably won’t lead to you scoring.

The Riders, by contrast, can be scored on as easily as a Maple Leaf goalie. Our defense is allowing a league worst 33 points per game. Many of which are a direct result of the 136 rushing yards per game we’ve been allowing… and with Rey Williams out for the foreseeable future the Riders will turn to Mike McCullough to try and stop the bleeding. No offense to Mike but I just don’t consider him to be knight in shining armour material. Our defense is an all or nothing mentality... either they create a turnover or they let their opponents score. There seems to be very little middle ground. The return of John Chick should help out a bit up front but until we start adjusting our philosophies and formations, we will just have to settle for the turnover or TD rollercoaster we’ve had all season… which is not easy on ones heart, blood pressure or (if you're anything like me) liver.

As for the rest of the team you just never really know what to expect. Our O-line looked great in Calgary but got steam rolled in BC. Cates was productive in Calgary too but has done absolutely nothing in his others games. Our play calling looked somewhat imaginative in Calgary but in most other games its stupidity has made Marcel Bellefeuille look like an offensive genius by comparison. Durant has thrown more TDs than anyone but when he’s not doing that he’s either throwing picks or going 2 and out. There is just no middle ground anywhere on this team. So I have no clue which version of the Riders will show up on Sunday.

There’s some favourable match-ups on both sides here. Hamilton’s outstanding ground game gets to face our porous run D but the Riders’ TD throwing QB gets to face an equally porous Hamilton secondary. Offensively the key will be for our O-line to step up and help Cates establish some semblance of a run game (I’m not asking for much but something more than his 40 yards last week). A legitimate running attack should open up some big plays of play-action given that the secondary is Hamilton’s weakness. Durant needs to play consistently. He’s made good plays all season… he just needs to stop following them up with bad ones.

Defensively it should be no surprise that stopping Cobb is the key. Porter doesn’t really scare me as a QB, he’s alright, just nothing special as far as I’m concerned. And Bruce is the only receiver that worries me. So if by some miracle we can contain Cobb and force Porter to beat us through the air, that’s a battle we can win.

While I have to admit that this game worries me somewhat, I hold out hope that a home crowd will give the team the boost they need to rise to the challenge and win.

Riders by a Luca Congi field goal.

So Good You Just Wanna Watch It Again