Monday Morning Senitmonies: Same Old Themes

We are getting to the time of the year where the Riders will soon announce their theme nights for the upcoming season. Each year their best and brightest marketing experts get in a room and spend hours of effort (and billable time) to basically just end up dusting off the same list they do everyone year just in a different font (that’s how we got the Goth Labour Day Classic). I can tell you now that the list will include Home Opener (which isn’t really a theme), Retro Night, Orange Shift Game, Legends Nights, Labour Day (which is also not really a theme), Family Day, Fan Appreciation Night and whatever the online thesaurus they use comes up with as an alternative wording for Country Night. 

Now in fairness to the Riders, they did actually try a couple new ones last year. Christmas in July was a unique idea… it was not so great in practice. It could maybe work for an afternoon game but it just made an evening game feel really lame. They also tried Vegas night… though other than the title and couple on screen graphics they really didn’t do much with this one. But credit where credit where credit is due. I would rather they try new things even if they flop than just recycle the same old drivel. Unfortunately based on the new ideas flopping I do expect them to double down with the same old drivel again this year. 

As always I have some ideas (patent pending), on ideas that people might actually enjoy.

Actual Retro Night – Pitched this last year and I will continue to until they get it right. And yes, I get the irony of criticizing the Riders’ lack of creativity only to open by rehashing an existing idea. But the Riders’ current version of retro is half assed at best. A real retro night would have old school Gainer (pre- drugged out eyes), Cousin Leonard, the old faceless Worksafe Bob, paper game tickets, paper 50/50 tickets that get drawn from a raffle drum from a 50’s bingo hall. Retro prices on booze that require me to purchase drink tokens that get me my choice of beer, rye, rum or Pink Drink. Rename Pil Place Hemorrhoid Hill. Re-create a one night only university section that offers cheap tickets. Put a hot tub beside and assume nothing bad will come of that.  Riders in 90s style jerseys. Mysterious dripping water throughout the stadium that no one really want to ask too much about. Find me the dancing chicken suit guy. Play the Audio Warehouse theme that we all still know the words to. Bring back the direct west sling shots. I want the full Taylor Field experience. 

Saturday Morning Cartoons – On October 17 we play the Als at 1pm. A matinee game is the perfect opportunity for a cartooned theme game. Encourage fans to come in PJs or dressed as their favourite cartoon character. Sell sugary cereal, pop tarts and Eggos at the concession. Air old commercials and cartoon clips. Make it a family oriented day. 

Bi Mon Sci Fi Con – For the non-Simpsons fan among you that stands for Bi-Monthly Sci-Fi Convention. Set it up like a Sci-Fi convention. Bring in some b-list stars from Sci-Fi shows for a meet and greet before the game. Have people dress up as their favourite Sci Fi character. Sell green lightsabers and phasers. Have Gainer show up in a Green tardis. If you can’t find a marketing cross over between green baby Yoda and the Riders you should give on life (and yes I know his name is Grogu). 

Backwards day – This is not fleshed out at all but I feel like when we host what is technically a home game for the Argos this season there has to be a way to make it backwards day.

Wrestling Night – I maintain that this would be epic. Encourage fans to come dressed as their favourite wrestler. Have Bret Hart do the coin toss. Better yet have someone dressed in a Bomber jersey about to do the coin toss then have them get hit with a chair and then have Bret step in. Have players cut promos leading up to the game. Sell green Hitman-style sunglasses. Partner with the local wrestling promotion to put on a match at half time. Make it a couple celebrities teaming with wrestlers and build hype leading up to the contest. Sell Rider branded championship belts and luchador masks. Have a ref get “knocked out” inadvertently at some point (say when a measurement is required) and have another ref come sprinting from the tunnel. Invite the Road Dogg to do intros in the traditional New Age Outlaws way “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the Saskatchewan Roughriders proudly bring to you…”. Last but not least, gratuitous crotch chops.

Social Media Night – I actually shocked that the Riders haven’t done this yet. Generally when companies run out of ideas they assume social media is the answer. And in this case they would actually be right.  Now understand I know very little about all of this so someone younger and more with it would need to fully flesh this out. Have alternate streams of the game on YouTube or Twitch. Have local influencers take part. Encourage fans to post on IG Live, have hashtag contests. Release a dance on the Ticky-Tokies that everyone needs to learn and do instead of the 4^th quarter stretch. Have people’s Myspace page talk about the game (that’s still a thing right?). Basically turn the game into something that everyone over the age of 40 would hate/not understand. 

Purolator Tackle Hunger Night on Steroids – Tackle hunger has been a long-standing and highly valuable promotion that greatly benefits food banks across Canada. But if you want people to really get into it you need a big draw. So I say make it a contest. Say that we are trying to create the world’s largest pyramid of canned goods and encourage all fans to bring as much as they can to help us build it. Like I want a stack of canned goods that would make an OHS inspector nervous. People love contests and something this visible and simple would for sure get attention.

What do you want to see for theme nights?