Monday, December 23, 2019

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Airing of Grievances

I’m sure many of you are making final preparations for Christmas… or procrastinating until the last minute and praying that 7-11 has a wide variety of gift options. Although Christmas will soon be upon us, today is actually another important date on the calendar.

It’s Festivus!

And true to the spirit of Festivus I will partake in the Airing of Grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people and now you’re going to hear about it!

Below is a listing  (in no particular order) of my CFL related grievances, frustrations, annoyances, unjustified hatreds and all the ways people have disappointed me over the past year.

·        Why do people still hate Andre Proulx? He’s a good ref and if you can’t admit it you are either stupid or hate the French.
·        People who complain about every single call the refs make annoy the hell out of me. For the most part the refs make pretty good calls, even when they go against the Riders.
·        The Rider Stomp is not a thing. Our repeated efforts to try and make into a thing cheapen us all (and it’s not like we are starting from a very lofty spot on the social stratosphere).
·        People can bring all kinds of crap into the stadium like championship belts and giant signs with real life Charleston Hughes hip action and all … but I am not allowed to bring in a milk jug with pennies inside (despite the team’s call for me to make some noise). Look when there is a solitary recorded milk jug incident at a football game then I will accept your stupid ban, but not until then.
·        Speaking of bans, now that golf ball retrievers are banned, I cannot take my Rider Prophet staff into the stadium. How am I supposed to convince masses of strangers to part to the side to let me through without a staff?
·        Another year without mascot soccer.
·        Why are CFL contracts still so secretive? At a minimum it should be a requirement to disclose contract length. It would be even better if they went all in and disclosed salary. I think it would benefit the players. When you find out how little your favourite young players are making it may put pressure on the league to up things.
·        Shot gun formation of 3rd and 1 remains one of the dumbest plays in football.
·        The CFL discipline process is a joke. It took a big step forward with the 2 games suspension of Simoni Lawrence… and proceeded to screw it up by ignoring the universal principle of "progressive discipline" and imposing lesser sanctions for his next TWO dirty plays.
·        I’m annoyed that we may never find out who tainted Andrew Harris’ supplement. The suspense is killing me.
·        The drink system at Taylor Field was far more efficient. Tokens and pre-poured drinks ensured maximum hydration with minimum missed game action. The current system seems to actively seek to maximize wait times.
·        Speaking of booze, people still complaining about the lack of “local craft beers” at Mosaic need to shut up. First of all, you are not impressing anyone by pretending to be a beer snob. Second, when your local craft brewery starts writing massive sponsorship cheques to the Riders like Molson has, they too can have their product sold. It’s economics.
·        I still don’t care that Jon Ryan could kick far… that didn’t make him a great punter this season despite how local media and fans wet their pants anytime he touched the ball.

I wish you all a Festivus Miracle and feel free to add your airing of grievances in the comment section. 

Merry Christmas and we will see you in the New Years

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