Official Predictions 2017

Twas the day before the start of a new season

And Rider fans were nervous, and with good reason.

We’ve got a fancy new stadium to take in the game

But have reason to fear our performance will still be lame.

So tell us Prophet, give us words that are witty

Give us reason to believe we won’t be so… you know.

So listen up dear reader as I share my predictions through rhymes

On what to expect in 2017… other than more fines

Its year 2 of the rebuild, but you really wouldn’t know

Jones is back but with pretty much a whole new team in tow

Gone Foster, Gone Cox. It’s such a drag

Hell, gone pretty much everyone not named Rob Bagg

The biggest news by far is gone #4

Some will say that means gone any chance to score

But it’s not all been bad news, so let’s not all freak out

Just don’t look at the new beer prices. That might make you pout.

The offense all rests on Kevin Glenn’s arm.

Can the old man do? Third time is a charm.

His O-line has been beef up and he’s got weapons galore

Roosevelt, Grant and Carter… there’s no way we don’t score.

Roosevelt will lead in catches and Carter TDs

We just hope that Duron doesn’t also lead in penalties

KG will do fine but allow me to be curt

At some point mid-season, he will end up hurt

It will only be a couple games but those won’t be much fun

It will be made worse because McAdoo will still refuse to run

Overall our offense will not be top tier

But it will certainly be better than the hot mess last year

Defense has some big adds like Jefferson and Muamba

Those 2 alone make me want to dance a samba (sorry it was a really poor decision to try and rhyme Muamba)

Our interior DL is not flashy but will do

Newsome and Leonard won’t (I really hate those 2)

By midseason there will be a new starting D-end

And that’s when our sack total will go on the mend.

Muamba gives us some really run stopping ability

But our OLBs leave a huge pass coverage liability

We struggled last year with a stud like Otha Foster

And we no longer have anything close to him on our roster

In the secondary, we have good reason to fear

Early in the season they will look as bad as last year

By about week 6, we’ll have tried 8 different DBs

But will finally find a combo that won’t allow so many TDs

The D will struggle early but down the stretch will giv’er

At least that’s what I hope for the sake of my liver.

We will be more competitive but still start the season rocky

Let’s be honest, we have no reason to be cocky.

We will struggle out the gate. 2 and 4, oh the dread!

There will be deafening cries for Jones’ head

The wins may be ugly but they will start to come
A big labour day win will make us not so glum

There will be another skid while Glenn recovers

Williams will assume the #2 spot beating out all others

At the end of it all we will have 7 wins (most within our own walls)

But good enough to cross over because the East still sucks balls

But that my friends is where it will end

We’ll lose the east-semi (mainly because we can’t defend)

So there you have it my official prophecy

Some might call my thoughts heresy

But if you don’t like this version or my claims

Could be worse, I had an alternate view where it all goes down in flames (like really super bad... let's all hope the version I posted is closer to reality)