Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Official Predictions 2017

Twas the day before the start of a new season
And Rider fans were nervous, and with good reason.
We’ve got a fancy new stadium to take in the game
But have reason to fear our performance will still be lame.
So tell us Prophet, give us words that are witty
Give us reason to believe we won’t be so… you know.
So listen up dear reader as I share my predictions through rhymes
On what to expect in 2017… other than more fines

Its year 2 of the rebuild, but you really wouldn’t know
Jones is back but with pretty much a whole new team in tow
Gone Foster, Gone Cox. It’s such a drag
Hell, gone pretty much everyone not named Rob Bagg
The biggest news by far is gone #4
Some will say that means gone any chance to score
But it’s not all been bad news, so let’s not all freak out
Just don’t look at the new beer prices. That might make you pout.

The offense all rests on Kevin Glenn’s arm.
Can the old man do? Third time is a charm.
His O-line has been beef up and he’s got weapons galore
Roosevelt, Grant and Carter… there’s no way we don’t score.
Roosevelt will lead in catches and Carter TDs
We just hope that Duron doesn’t also lead in penalties
KG will do fine but allow me to be curt
At some point mid-season, he will end up hurt
It will only be a couple games but those won’t be much fun
It will be made worse because McAdoo will still refuse to run
Overall our offense will not be top tier
But it will certainly be better than the hot mess last year

Defense has some big adds like Jefferson and Muamba
Those 2 alone make me want to dance a samba (sorry it was a really poor decision to try and rhyme Muamba)
Our interior DL is not flashy but will do
Newsome and Leonard won’t (I really hate those 2)
By midseason there will be a new starting D-end
And that’s when our sack total will go on the mend.
Muamba gives us some really run stopping ability
But our OLBs leave a huge pass coverage liability
We struggled last year with a stud like Otha Foster
And we no longer have anything close to him on our roster
In the secondary, we have good reason to fear
Early in the season they will look as bad as last year
By about week 6, we’ll have tried 8 different DBs
But will finally find a combo that won’t allow so many TDs
The D will struggle early but down the stretch will giv’er
At least that’s what I hope for the sake of my liver.

We will be more competitive but still start the season rocky
Let’s be honest, we have no reason to be cocky.
We will struggle out the gate. 2 and 4, oh the dread!
There will be deafening cries for Jones’ head
The wins may be ugly but they will start to come
A big labour day win will make us not so glum
There will be another skid while Glenn recovers
Williams will assume the #2 spot beating out all others
At the end of it all we will have 7 wins (most within our own walls)
But good enough to cross over because the East still sucks balls
But that my friends is where it will end
We’ll lose the east-semi (mainly because we can’t defend)

So there you have it my official prophecy
Some might call my thoughts heresy
But if you don’t like this version or my claims
Could be worse, I had an alternate view where it all goes down in flames (like really super bad... let's all hope the version I posted is closer to reality)


Anonymous said...

I agree with the 7 wins but who is worse than us for us to be in the crossover?

Pat Strain said...

Nice work Prophet ! I agree there is no chance of a Western playoff spot but a crossover maybe a possibility . I have one prediction of my own - If the Riders do worse than the Als this year Jones is gone . He's gambled his career with the Durant deal so he'd better hope like hell that Durant doesn't light it up in Montreal .

Anonymous said...

Personally even with 7 wins, he probably gets another year. I think 2018 could be a good year but with the number of changes this year the playoffs would be a bonus. But what do you do after 2 years in -eat his salary & start over with a new GM & coach who may start wholesale changes again? Hate to say it but even if the Riders tank the best option may be to keep Jones for the duration. But I would put the brakes on with the spending on our enormous coaching staff & weekly mini-camps throughout the off season if we're not getting tangible results. If this club is a dud it only proves that Jones & Murphy never came as advertised. With his former clubs bringing in a Daniels in Calgary, what looks like 2 very good receivers in Zylstra & Williams in Edmonton, our haul looks quite ordinary in comparison, assuming those 3 achieve good success this year. I'm less than overwhelmed by most of the new bodies we brought in. As much as Bingham, Stroshak & Young made headlines in pre-season, where are they now?

Govind said...

If you think in sack numbers there will be a lull
That's when we'll bring in a replacement like Tull

(Sticking with the theme here)
I think if all breaks right this team's ceiling is about 10 wins. 7-8 is probably where it ends up.