Friday, August 14, 2015

Friday Round-Up: Bye Week Musings

I won’t lie, I really expected some kind of big news (of the firing variety) by this point in the bye week. That said, given how my luck goes, there will likely be a big announcement within 5 minutes of this being posted. I will reiterate that I don’t want anyone to be fired (except possibly Taman but that’s a topic for another day). I just assumed given how things work in the province, the Riders would have done something to try and appease the fan base… even if that something wasn’t the right move.

The good news is given that our starting quarterback didn’t recently have his jaw broken by a teammate’s sucker punch, things in Riderville suddenly don’t seem quite so bad. That  said I can’t help but have a flashback to that time Kenton Keith had a “lower body” injury that by all accounts was inflicted by a few of his teammates. I kinda miss those whacky days.

Given the lack of actual Rider news (that I had really been banking on), I decided to instead brighten up your by week by discussing ways you can make the remainder of the season more enjoyable:

1)    Do up a bunch of bingo cards listing various penalties, whenever the Riders take one mark it on your card. First complete line wins. The beauty of this game is that the rate the Riders take penalties, you will be able to play 3 or 4 different rounds each game. 

2)    Before each game, every participant puts in $5 and picks a random injury. The prize pool goes to whoever correctly guesses the first injury that knocks a Rider player out of the game. (This game has its origins as the Buck Pierce Injury pool where you’d predict what would knock him out of the game)

3)    Every time the kiss cam is on yell out “That’s my wife!” and stomp of in a huff.

4)    Take a back pack full of helium balloons to a home game. When security asks to check your bag beg them not to open it. Then when they open it and release all your balloons have your kid (or any kid for that matter) start crying saying they ruined their birthday

5)    Leak an online report that Jim Daley will be hired to replace Corey Chamblin and watch the inter webs devolve into anarchy.

6)    Drink heavily (what? Just because its super obvious doesn’t mean it’s not good advice)

7) Bet money against the Riders. That way you can at least financially profit from their losing. Though be forewarned, the odds of them winning out of spite when you do decide to bet on them is quite high. 
8)    Go back and watch games from either 2011 or any of the 90s and remind yourself that things aren’t so bad

9)    Demand the Riders give as mascot soccer as a halftime show to make up for all the losing. Seriously, do it.

10)    Get Rider Prophet drunk on rye and mention the decision to draft Jordan Sisco… it’s an epic rant.

I will be back on Monday with my ambitious (and patent pending) plan for how the Riders can use the remainder of this season to effectively build for 2016.

1 comment:

Govind said...

I love #5 and #8. I am familiar with one of those places that has just turned into a "fire everyone" rant. It will take me more than this for me to think we are back in the bad old days.

I don't understand why not wanting mass firing immediately means you are accepting mediocrity.