Thursday, April 24, 2008

So it's come to this...

When Rob Vanstone doesn't have enough material to write an entire column on, he does a series of random thoughts that he calls Robservations. Its Rob... making Observations. Robservations, get it? This brings me to Rod Pedersen and his ridiculous “Rodservations” schtick. For the record, if someone can tell me what an 'odservation' is, then I will gladly retract this criticism. But enough about this, I have Prophetservations to make...

- The recent news stories involving the Riders have me checking my calendar to make sure I haven't inadvertently gone back in time... Trevis Smith is in court, KK got arrested, Riders sign Kyle Mitchell and Brandon Lynch. I swear I've seen this all somewhere before. Not to mention, Rush, Mötley Crüe and Iron Maiden will soon be making stops here... maybe we're in some sort of time warp.

- The Rider fans seem to have turned into a real life version of the movie Groundhog Day. I challenge anyone to have a Rider related conversation without uttering the words Shivers, KK, stadium, Barker or Crandell

- The draft can't come soon enough

- The '09 Grey Cup will be in Calgary. I hope the Calgary residents take full advantage of this opportunity as this is the closest they will come to the Cup in the foreseeable future.

- So the Montreal Canadiens win a first-round playoff series and people feel compelled to riot and destroy 16 cop cars. By contrast, the Riders won the league championship for the first time in 18 years and the only thing damaged was work productivity in the month of November.

- The Argos signed former pro-bowler David Boston. Boston is a steroid using, oft injured, NFL cast-off whose best days are behind him... yup he's a perfect fit in Toronto's offense.

- Word is the green colour of our jerseys will be changing this season. Some say this is a ploy to suck more money out of us. My guess is that the trainers accidentally put the old jerseys in the wrong laundry load which resulted in fading and this is just a clever cover-up.

- Finally, one of my fellow bloggers has recently run into some legal trouble due to allegedly disparaging comments that were made online. Now I think all of you know that my comments are meant to be all in good fun, but in light of this news, the Prophet legal team has advised me to apologize to the following: Marcel Bellefeuille, Danny Maciocia, Jason Maas, Garth Brooks, James Johnson, Henri Childs, AJ Gass, Ryan Dinwiddie, Wally Buono, the Baha Men, Andre Proulx, Jim Popp, Lindsay Lohan, Colin Scrivener, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Cupid, Davis Sanchez, Tristan Clovis, Rob Vanstone, Rod Black, Hamilton Cheerleaders, Madonna, Anthony Calvillo, Ben Cahoon, Mexicans, Mormons, the BC Lions offensive line, Rita McNeil's seamstress, Henry Burris, Chip Cox, Helen Keller, the residents of Winnipeg and all of their attractive cousins.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Prophet,

Hate to be a bother but wasn't the last Riders won the cup 18 years ago? I'm sure it was just a typo because I can't see you in your infinite wisdom making a 10 year miscalculation.

Anonymous said...

Some would call it a miscalculation... others would just realize that the truth is that Prophet just has fat fingers. These things happen.

Rider Prophet said...

Good observation. That's my bad. I blame a combination of fat fingers and a Media Consultant whose work has been slipping of late.

I fixed it.

Craig said...

To be fair, my work has not been slipping... I'm as consistent now as I was at the start!