Riders vs. Bombers: Banjo Bowl 2012

After a 52-0 shellacking, the Bombers headed back to Winnipeg with their metaphorical tails between their legs. Their fans were also sent back to Winnipeg with their actual tails between their legs. It’s time for the annual Labour Day rematch we call the Banjo Bowl. Despite all the hype about how hard it is to win the rematch, since the Banjo Bowl was officially named, the series is 4-4 and we have won 3 of the past 4 (but don’t let facts get in the way of a good argument).

The big question headed into this game are the Riders really that good? And are the Bombers really that bad? To the first question: No, we really aren’t that good. If we play like we did on Sunday then we can beat any team in the CFL. But the 52 points we scored and the 0 that our opponents did are a direct result of the Bombers being that bad. Fear not Bomber fans, Joe Mack has been hard at work looking into the problem and determined that it was entirely due to LaPolice and Richard Harris’ death. (Ahh the old try and get sympathy for a death that happened over a year ago tactic, I’m sure that one will work).

While I’m sure we won’t hang 50 on them again and I’m sure they will manage to score this time around (I mean for god sake you get a point for punting it far or missing a FG). That said Winnipeg is still a really bad team. Most giveaways, least points scored, worst run game, most points allowed, worst pass D and an O-line that is so horrible they might as well just start 5 cardboard cut-outs of Chris Schultz and save the cap space.

That said let’s not get super cocky because we beat up on the retarded cousin of the CFL. Lest we forget that just a week ago our offense was so useless that even a case ruffies would not have helped us score and our defense was so useless that we couldn’t stop the run up the middle even when we stacked the box with 8 guys. Last game was definitely a step in the right direction but if you really think that because the Riders stomped the Bombers they are headed to the Grey Cup then you probably also think that if Canada were to invade Tanzania it would make us a global super power.

Keys to winning will be to do exactly what we did last week. Defensively, eliminate the run and get pressure on the QB. I’m secretly hoping for an appearance by Buck Pierce... because that’s all it would be: an appearance. Without the run game, a Winnipeg QB under duress will not be beating us. We need to keep up with blitzing in 2^nd and long. Last game we attacked rather than sitting back even when we were up and I love that.

Offensively we need to continue to use roll-outs, QB runs and double TE sets to keep the pass rush at bay and give Durant time to do his thing. Neufeld is still struggling at tackle at times so if we are committed to him as our guy we need to help him out with our schemes. We also need to pound the ball with Sheets (seems like a no brainer by this point) and spread the ball around. When we are using all our receivers and giving a good mix of short vs. deep, play action vs straight passes, and continue using motion and the waggle to create separation and favourable match-ups it keeps defenses guessing and off balace. I would also be looking to use pump fakes. You can bet the Bomber DBs will be itching to get their revenge for last week and I expect them to be jumping short routes (which up until recently was all we did) so a well timed pump fake should lead to an easy TD.

Bombers will be desperate for a win in front of the band of inbred non-bathers they call their home crowd. I expect a few trick plays (almost looked like they tried to run a Terrence Edwards pass last game) on O and special teams and some risk taking on D. If we just play smart and stick to our game we should walk out of Winnipeg with a win (and possibly a few diseases if we aren’t careful).

Riders by 15

Coolest Job Ever - Semi Final Audition

In case you missed me last night on CJME's Greenzone (or just loved my appearance so much you want to see it again), here's the video.



Its all in the judges hands now. Top 2 will be announced on Monday. In the meantime you should leave a comment on the video, tweet, facebook or just hassle Jamie Nye anytime you see him in person to support the Prophet.

Are You Smarter Than A Baby - Week 11

Here are the Prophet family picks for Week 11. Be sure to have your picks in by kickoff on Friday

Prophet Jr.- Edmonton, Hamilton, BC, Winnipeg
Rider Prophet - Calgary, Toronto, BC, Saskatchewan
Mrs. Prophet - Edmonton, Toronto, Montreal, Saskatchewan
Momma Prophet - Edmonton, Hamilton, BC, Winnipeg

Step-Prophet's picks will be up tomorrow. Who knew that a five year old would have such a busy schedule?

Prophet On The Radio

Be sure to tune into the Green Zone on CJME tonight (6-7). I will be on the air for my semi-final audition for the Coolest Job Ever contest. I'll be on the second segment.

Be sure to listen and support the Prophet with your texts, tweets and calls to the show. Pretty sure my segment is not a call in portion but that shouldn't stop you ("We have our first caller. And I mean ever people. This is not a call-in show")

Tuesday Afternoon Sentimonies: Bomber Beatdown

Riders 52 – Bombers 0

Apologies for the lateness of the post but I was in no condition to be penning my sentimonies on Monday morning.

Well that was unexpected. How unexpected you ask? Not even the designers of our new scoreboard envisioned a scenario where the Riders would score more than 40.

I figured we would win (I mean we’ve won with the likes of Bishop and Rocky Butler in years past) but I did not see that embarrassing ass kicking coming. As exciting as that win was though let’s contain our elation just a bit. Yes we were dominant in all phases of the game but it was against a really, really bad team. It’s kinda like fighting someone in a lower weight division or beating hamster in a game of trivial pursuit (well that’s probably not the best example since most people from Manitoba would in fact lose such a contest.. it would be akin to them fighting outside their weight class).

It just seemed that we could do no wrong: DeAngelis’ long FG deflects in, we recover our own kickoff on back to back drives, even the fan doing the chip-shot FG contest made his kick.

After weeks of complaining about everything we are doing wrong, I actually get to talk about what we did right this week. It’s no coincidence that when you start doing things right, winning follows.

I was most impressed in our offense came out. Over the past few weeks they had been more useless than Beta movie player but they came out firing on all cylinders. Now why it took this long to figure out is a question for another post. The list of things they did right that have been lacking in the past includes: getting Dressler involved early and often, using the waggle and motion to create separation, pushing the ball downfield even when the receiver isn’t wide open, spreading the ball around to all receivers, running early/often and most importantly late, using the run to set up play action, and using double tight ends and rollouts to help counter a strong pass rush. Bob Dyce, take notes!

Defensively we took away the run, we got good pressure with our front 4, we used the blitz well (especially in second down situations) and we created turnovers. Most importantly we kept them out of the endzone...I mean it’s sad when your offensive output matches that of your city's hockey team which is currently not playing. Brackenridge was a monster. He emphatically showed the staff why he deserves his starting spot and any though of sitting him are lunacy.

It may have only been one game, against the worst team in the CFL but it’s great to see the team come together in all phases of the game. In all seriousness if we could not have accomplished those things against this bunch of losers and their ugly as sin jerseys, what hope would there have been for us?

Things clearly won’t be this easy going forward but this is definitely something we can build on. If we keep doing the things I mentioned above, we will continue to have success, even if it isn’t to the same ridiculous level of dominance.

Other random thoughts:

-       I won’t lie the prospect of Jay Alford as longsnapper was concerning but he did just fine

-       Could Dressler have picked a worse group of people to attempt a Lambeau Leap with? Get excited people!

-       How stupid does the decision to scratch Jock Sanders last week look? Hope we never make it again.

-       Brooks Foster sure looked good.

-       Whatever drugs they shot Sheets up with must have been awesome. Guy was limping like a grandpa and then was good enough to pound out a 100 yard game.

-       Still not convinced with Neufeld at tackle but by this point I think we just need to commit to a starting 5 and stick with them for consistency sake

-       Durant looked really good until he got hurt.

-       Willy certainly didn’t light the world on fire with his performance but he did everything you hope your back-up will. He looked calm, moved the chains and didn’t make mistakes.

-       Another Willy note, if you enjoy plays on words and low brow humour you should check out my twitter feed @RiderProphet and #potentialwillyheadlines

-       Never thought I’d see JT O’Sullivan take a snap on offense

-       It’s a sad day when the only thing people from Winnipeg can score on is farm animals

Are You Smarter Than A Baby - Week 10 Results

There is hope for us yet people! Prophet Jr. finally turned in a bad week, going 1 for 4. Many of you had 2 and 3 point weeks, meaning that for at least one week we can take solace in that fact that we  are Smarter than a Baby.

We have reached the half way point of the season so here are the standings as we head into the second half of the season

1. Prophet Jr. - 23
2. Mrs Prophet/Jim - 21
4. Wes - 20
5. Steve - 19
6. Tom - 18
7. Step-Prophet/Skid/DB/CK - 17
11. Kurtis - 16
12. Rider Prophet/Man In The Bush/Thad - 15
15. Tim/CK's Toddler - 13
17. Dave - 10
18. Momma Prophet - 6

Labour Day Classic 2012: Riders vs. Bombers

Labour Day is one of the most beloved games on the schedule. This year it will be even more beloved because, let’s face it, we need this. This team went 0 for August and is currently on a 5 game skid… if this skid goes on any longer Riderville will start qualifying as a disaster zone and we could apply for provincial relief funding (maybe that’s something they should look into as a potential way to fund the stadium).

Before I get to the game, I need to get my obligatory Manitoba bashing out of the way. You’d think after 5 years of doing this I would be running out of things to mock but fortunately Manitoba is just that awful.  To be fair though, aside from the obvious: diseases (both sexual and due their lack of hygiene), lack of reading ability, above average body hair, crime filled/peepee soaked cities, and a physical attractions to their cousins which is only outdone by their physical attraction to farm animals they are really alright people. Now onto the game...

Any other week I would likely be not very optimistic about the game… but this is Labour Day! We win even when our team is crap (like last year when the 1-7 Riders toppled the 7-1 Bombers). We haven’t lost since 2004. We also get the added bonus of the Bombers being the worst team in the league this time around. It’s like Christmas come early… even though we are clearly on the naughty list. The stars have aligned… now just don’t screw this up. Good lord we’ve managed to win in spite of being handicapped by Michael Bishop!! This should be fairly easy by comparison.

 As bad as the Riders have been playing there is a laundry list of reasons why we should win this game: the Bombers are the lowest scoring team in the league, have allowed the 2^nd most points, have the most giveaways, have the worst O-line, have the worst pass defense, and the 3^rd worst running defense (which logically means Bob Dyce will be passing... a lot). Oh yeah and they just fired their coach. Even in spite of their recent resurgence they are still not a very good team.

That said there are a number of things about their team that do concern me. #1 is Chad Simpson. Someone should test this guy for performance enhancing drugs... or cocaine. He is impossible to bring down until the 5^th tackle. We match up well in that we are awful at tackling and it takes until the 4^th or 5^th guy shows up to bring people down. #2 Is Chris Matthews, he is the second leading receiver in the CFL and given how we’ve had a knack for making stars out of such well reputable  WRs as Joe West and Matt Carter a guy with an actual resume scares me. I`m also concerned that we won`t get to play everyone`s favourite Labour Day game: Predict the Buck Pierce injury.

Beyond that though, my apprehensions about this game have more to do with how much we suck rather than how much they suck. I mean let’s be serious they do suck and they will continue to suck on Sunday even if there is a new guy leading their sucktacular efforts. The real question is will the Riders suck more?

This game will all come down to the performance of our offense. I am by no means fooling myself into thinking our defense is awesome but even when they play like retards trying to hump a doorknob into submission (like last week) they at least play adequate enough to win (17 points allowed is enough to win). But our offense has been so timid and unintimidating that if we allowed the defense of a local peewee team on the field with them they would end up being bullied by the kids. It wasn’t always this bad. Over the first 5 games we averaged 31 points per game. Over the last 3 we have scored 35 total!! There are married men out there who score more often than the Riders.

We need to score 3 TDs minimum to win. Anything less and we are in trouble. Against a hapless team like the Bombers this should be doable. If we commit to pounding the ball with Sheets, one of those 3 will just happen without effort; Sheets is good, the Bombers run D is not. If we commit to getting Dressler involved again (you know, the short statured fellow we completely forgot about last game) that should result in another TD. That leaves one TD. All we need is ONE of the following to occur: Durant run like wind, Getzlaf remember how to catch 60% of the time (you know the Getz we all love and remember), Jock Sanders do something, or Taj Smith catch another hacky sack play and goes for 6. One measly TD is all we need from someone not named Sheets or Dressler and we can end the losing streak. This of course all assumes that someone burns Dyce`s crappy playbook with all the 6 yard patterns from shotgun and replaces it with a playbook that wasn`t taken from a book called Offensive Playcalling For Kids. (Drinks are on me for the person that does).

While Winnipeg will likely be a very tough opponent, there is just something about Labour Day that gives even the crappiest of Rider teams an insane boost. We will win. Also we have the added bonus of Brendan Taman on our side... based on his history there is no one who knows more about how to make the Bombers lose.

Riders by 15

See you in the stands!!