Monday Morning Sentimonies: Hope Nobody Notices

**As I type this post on a Tuesday evening, I'm just going to hope that most of you either haven't noticed how late this post is, or have just gotten so used to my lack of timeliness that you really don't care by this point.

So far the “make the readers do all the work” scam… errr I mean “Tell Your Story” segment has been a resounding success. We’ve had great contributions from Uncle Jim, Ronbo and Robert. My inbox has also been flooded with stories from readers around the world (though most of them have little to do with football and seem to all end with requests for my banking information). Man in the Bush has been submitting stories but most of them have little to do with football and all seem to end with requests for people’s phone numbers, addresses measurements, hopes and fears and openness to acts so lewd it would make an adult film star blush.  So I’ve gone ahead and spared you the emotional scarring and refused to post them.

I promised a prize when this all began and I am a man of my word. A donation to the Human Fund will be made on behalf of everyone who submitted a story. Congratulations! 

Now onto the news of the day which of course is that the Riders have released Chunky Adams after 8 seasons. This is another one of those mixed feelings things for me. On one hand to call Chunky one of the best DTs in the league would be about as accurate as calling me one of the most timely and grammatically accurate bloggers. On the other hand, I doubt few gave as much effort as Adams. Plus its not like he was bad... he was good enough to hold down the starters spot for a number of years. Fact remains that nobody was able to beat him out. 

 

I'm kinda surprised they cut him rather than bring him to camp and see if someone can finally beat him out. But I guess they knew in advance he wasn't in Coach Marshall's plan for a bigger more physical defensive front (they must be confident they have someone to replace him with), and so it was better to cut him early and give him a chance to catch on elsewhere (not sure where that would be but its a chance at least).

So we bid adieu to one of the most oddly shaped players I can remember.

CFL Ins and Outs

Toronto

In: RB Cory Boyd (contract extension), DB Ray Cheatham, WR Curtis Walls (free agent signing)

Boyd signed a 3 year contract… but unless the Argos figure out how to pass the ball, the wear and tear his poor body his going to take will likely mean that he’ll fulfill a maximum of half of that.

Edmonton

In: KR Brandon James, K Louis Sakoda (free agent signing)

Out: DL Dario Romero (cut), K Justin Medlock, DB Carlo Thomas (trade with Hamilton)

Romero had 2 major knocks against him in that he was the wrong side of 30 and a well paid American. One of those is generally enough to earn to you a pink slip in the Tillman regime. Both makes is a virtual certainty.

Calgary

In: RB Jon Cornish (contract extension)

Out: LB Sideeq Shabazz (cut)

BC

Out: DB Trestin George (released)

Injured: RB Andrew Harris (tore a pectoral muscle, will miss up to 4 months)

Winnipeg

In: WR Damian Sherman (free agent signing)

Name That Franchise

I just read an article that talked about how the start date for the new team in Ottawa might be pushed back a year due to a legal challenge to the renovations at Lansdowne Park. The irony here is that the current incarnation of a CFL team in Ottawa might exist longer as a conditional franchise than the previous one did as an actual franchise.

But that got me thinking (as usual it was about something else that is only loosely related to where I started), regardless of when they start playing, they will eventually have to decide on a team name. Now for obviously reasons we here in Saskatchewan are opposed to them resurrecting the Rough Riders. 

But rather than gripe and complain, I decided to take a more proactive approach and try and help the owners in Ottawa and the CFL big wigs come up with a list of potential names for the new franchise that would be acceptable to us here on the prairies.

So without further adieu… 

Top 10 Suggestions For Ottawa’s New Name

10 – Ottawa Cats – The cat came back the very next day, the cat came back, they thought he was a goner but the cat came back, he just couldn’t stay away. Plus the whole 9 lives thing

9 – Ottawa El Ninos – a disruptive occurrence that comes around every few years.

8 – Ottawa Leap Years – Continuing along the “only comes around very 4 years” theme.

7 – Ottawa CFLers – Hey it worked for Baltimore

6 – Ottawa Phoenix – they keep going up in flames and being reborn from the ashes

5 – Ottawa Argo Nots or Stamp Eaters – Seriously, go mooch off another franchise and leave us alone!

4 – Ottawa Gutless Poker Players – They are likely just going to fold.

3 – Ottawa Minority Governments – They have roughly the same stability and longevity.

2 – Ottawa Mulligans – Those last 2 were just a practice. This time it counts… unless it’s another practice.

1 – Ottawa Herpes – They reappear sporadically after periods of remission… and it’s rarely a pleasurable visit.

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Something Happened!

Well thankfully late Friday something actually happened with the Riders. That is good news for you the readers as my back-up plan for today's post was to analyze in detail where my March Madness bracket went wrong (hint: it had something to do with knowing absolutely nothing about college basketball).

Friday Brendan Taman and Eric Tillman finalized a deal that us ship DB prospect Ladarius Key to Edmonton in exchnage for KR Tristan Jackson. At first glance I think this is a great trade. Basically we gave up a practice roster DB for a 25 year old kick returner who is a dangerous kick returner. Now you have to factor in that Jackson is probably making decent money (which likely made him expendable by Tillman standards) and that he has been plagued by injuries throughout his career (especially last year). But I still think Key is a small price to pay for someone with Jackson's potential.

All I can is that Jackson better pan out for Taman's sake. otherwise he'll have gone 0 for 3 in the acquiring kick returners who used to be good department. Dorsey failed, Grease-Mullen failed. it's all on Jackson. Fortunately he has one major force working in his favour that the other 2 did not... mainly not have a complete idiot as his special teams coach. That said if we can't muster a return game out of Craig Dickenson and Tristan Jackson, we might as well just quit trying because it obviously ain't in the cards.

CFL Ins and Outs

Montreal

In: RB DeAndra Cobb (free agent signing)

Wow it will be an epic Cobb vs. Ahmad Green show down at RB in camp... watch for both to lose and end up cut.

Winnipeg

In: WR David McKoy (free agent signing)

Out: LS Tyler Inglis (trade with Edmonton), QB Zac Champion, QB Frank Wilczynski (cut)

How many times does Champion need to be cut before he should be forced to change his last name?

Edmonton

In: LS Tyler Inglis (trade with Winnipeg)

Out: DL Kai Ellis, OL Patrick Afif, DL Justin Cooper (cut)

Americans over the age of 30 beware... Tillman is on the prowl.... babysitters to (too soon?)

BC

In: WR Will Cole, RB Keegan Herring (free agent signing)

Out: DB Daylan Walker, DL Richard Jones (cut)

Tell Your Story

So far this has been a typical March football-wise… which means not much is happening. And the stuff that is happening is barely worth mention (unless you really care about Winnipeg cutting Frank Wilczynski).

Normally when news is thin I turn to one of my patented filler posts. Unfortunately I used them all up in my Salute to US Expansion. So my backup backup plan is to make you do my work for me.  Its an idea so ingenious I can’t believe it took me this long to think of it (and even then I didn’t so much thin about it as steal the idea from Ronbo and pass in off as my own).

So, to help me pass the time, I invite you to share some of your best football related stories. They could be about an experience at another stadium, off-field encounters with CFL players. Hell, it could be about something non-football related as long as it’s funny. 

Submit your stories either by leaving a comment or emailing me. The best story will win a prize. I have no idea what the prize will be but I’ll figure something out.

I’ll give you a few of my own stories to get the ball rolling.

- I once played against Jason Clermont in a touch football game. On one particular play I thought I had Clermont covered in the endzone. Needless to say I quickly found out why he is a professional football player and I am an unpaid football blogger.

Wednesday Update

Since I’m out of obscure former football franchises to talk about (unless I start making them up… which I’m not above), I guess I had better get back to talking about actual news.  News is predictably thin this time of year so you stuck with a dose of Random Quasi-Coherent Thoughts.

- We start on a sombre note, with Kitwana Jones signing with the Alouettes. Kitwana has always been one of my favourite players so it’s certainly sad to see him go. That said I understand why the Riders didn’t re-sign him. Realistically Kitwana would have been at best a special teams player who filled in on D in an emergency. Not to devalue Special Teams play (especially after last year’s debacle) but its tough to justify holding a roster spot for an aging guy who will never be a full time starter when you could just a s easily give it to a young up and comer whose has potential to develop into a starter. Again, I don’t like it but I see the logic.

- If history has taught me anything though. Kitwana will go to the new time, the only noteworthy thing about his time there will be chasing down a criminal and he’ll find his way back to the Riders by mid-season.

- Big but not overly surprising news came when Edmonton cut Mo Lloyd (by the way, I’ve never got why the two L’s are needed for this name, always seemed like a bit of overkill). Lloyd must hate Eric Tillman. First Tillman won’t open the vault for Lloyd in 2009 so, he ends up signing with a far crappier team. Then Tillman shows up and cuts him on a count of the inflated contract Lloyd has with said crappy team. At every turn Tillman seems to be on Mo like a babysitter… too soon?

 
- Speaking of Tillman , he is certainly scrapping the bottom of the barrel in his desperate attempt to introduce some Canadian content to the barren Esks. He has now acquired the highly acclaimed Delroy Clarke (I know who?) from Toronto for a 4^th round pick in 2012. I’m honestly waiting for my call from Tillman to come play for him since as a Canadian who has played football, I’m almost overqualified compared to what the Esks had when ET walked in the door.

Rider Prophet Salutes US Expansion: Miami Manatees

Today we wrap up our salute to US Expansion with a look at the worst CFL team that never was. 

The idea for a team in Miami came up prior to the 1995 season. Plans were made to purchase the Las Vegas Posse… or at least their tattered remains… and launch the Miami Manatees in time for 1996 season.

They even staged an exhibition game at the Orange Bowl between Birmingham and Baltimore to introduce the Canadian game to Florida. The game was very poorly attended. While there were likely many factors that led to this, one major factor may have been the fact that Miami football fans found it hard to take a match up between two teams called the Cudas and the CFLers, seriously.  

Years in the League: None, thank goodness

Overall Record: n/a

Notable Players: Gamzo (an actual manatee that was adopted in honour of the team)

The Good

- Thankfully the CFL dodged a bullet and never had to associate itself with a team called the Manatees.

- As if that logo isn’t awesome.

The Bad

- The name Manatees. Also known as the sea cow. While it may be an intimidating moniker when you are talking about an overweight woman, it definitely isn’t when talking about a football team… unless it was a football team of overweight women.

- A portion of ticket sales for the team was to be donated to save the manatees. While I’m all for teams and players supporting charities and the community, I’ll be damned if I’ll respect a team that supports dirty hippies and their stupid causes. It also makes no sense since I doubt the hippies that care about saving the manatees more than they care about personal hygiene even watch football. From a marketing perspective you would have had more success donating proceeds to causes like “punch the manatees” or “nuke the whales”. Now that’s something I would support!

 

Fate

League suspended US operations in 1995 so the plans never came to fruition. The Manatees were banished the footnotes of CFL history.

Video Evidence

There's this...

This hilarious song about manatees....

Or this...

 

Rider Prophet Salutes US Expansion: Birmingham Barracudas

The year was 1995, the CFL was looking for additional American franchises to add to its US expansion efforts. Along came a Georgia business man by the name of Art Williams wanting to put a franchise in Birmingham. And who did he name as the GM of his new franchise? … None other than Roy Shivers.

 

Years in the League: 1995

Overall Record: 11-7

Notable Players: QB Matt Dunnigan, DB Eddie Davis, DL Anthony Drawhorn, WR Jason Phillips, OL Fred Childress. Roy Shivers.

The Good

- Winning record and a playoff appearance.

- Dunnigan had his best season ever

- Attendance started out very good… well at least until college football season started at which point it plummeted.

The Bad

- The nickname Cudas. Owner wanted a team name that would “scare the spit out of people”… I somehow doubt much saliva was lost due the name Cudas.

- Like the Memphis Mad Dogs they decided to buck the trend when it came to jerseys and put a logo on the front. Now that design is bad enough before you factor in the lovely colour scheme the Cudas had going for them.

- The owner openly criticized the Canadian rules and favoured chancing things to be more like the NFL… this included changing the name of the league. If only there were some option for people who want 4 down football on a small field with 11 players and not called the CFL.

- Brought Reggie Slack into the league

Fate

Tried moving the team to Shreveport following the 1995 season but the CFL ended up ceasing US operations completely so the team folded.

Video Evidence